There are some people who thrive on high drama. They like to create it. They feel most comfortable when theyre surrounded by it. Constant drama is not only a lot of work for the individual who is creating it but it is also very draining for those who are around them. It usually doesnt take long to recognize when youre dealing with a high drama person. Here are some of the signs: The person has the capacity to make the smallest issues into a major event. The person usually dominates every conversation. When the person does withdraw, they do it in a very attention grabbing way that manages to focus all energy toward them. They seem to always be on stage or putting on a performance. They find it easier to see the negative than the positive. They have a way of speaking to people that creates tension.
If you have a friend or family member who is a drama starter, it can be very difficult to manage. There are a number of possible reasons for their behavior. The person may: Create drama as a distraction from dealing with their real issues. Have grown up with constant put-downs and have never learned how to be positive or affirming. Feel insecure and need constant attention to convince them that they are valued. Confuse peaceful with boring and create drama to entertain themselves and others.
For those who are in relationship with high drama people, here are some pointers: 1. Be very clear about your relationship with the person. You can be the supportive friend, family member, or spouse but you cannot be their therapist. 2. You have to set up healthy boundaries to both take care of yourself and also to discourage unhealthy dynamics in the relationship. 3. Aim to be a stable, grounded person not someone who feeds off of the drama and escalates it. Do not give the person the message that their job is to entertain you. Be the kind of friend that doesnt pressure them to perform. 4. Develop a healthy sense of yourself so you dont let the drama cause you to doubt yourself or your worth. 5. Set limits. While it is good to be supportive, if the high drama person is being disrespectful or abusive, dont feel you have to suffer in silence. Take the space and time you need to think honestly about the level of contact you want to maintain with the person. If you need to reduce the time you spend with the person, it doesnt mean you are a bad person. It means you are taking steps to protect and preserve your emotional well-being.
Most importantly, dont get caught up in the drama. Take a step back so you can see things clearly.
This is what we in the field would call "Cluster B personality disorders"...Borderline Personality, Narcissistic, and/or Histrionic Personality Disorder. Even if a person is not meeting the criteria for the disorder(s), they can lean that way. And yes, all you wrote are good tips for dealing with people like that. Histrionic Personality literally means all about the drama.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Yeah Phil...I heard a guy in a meeting once say....I was the common denominator in all the failed relationships I've been in. I guess it's just something like that.
