It seems ironic to me the cyclic nature of life once I got into recovery. So much of what I did in the past, I have adopted once again. My behavior looks similar, but it is for entirely different reasons. I once put myself last, because I believed I wasn't good enough. Then I risked believing that I was good enough and took myself off the bottom of the list. Eventually, I did believe it and moved myself right up to the top of the list.
It didn't last. Having been lifted to the top of the list, I saw who had lifted me up. There was one above me still out of reach of any list. As my gratitude grew, I wanted to repay the one who lifted me up and so I looked for a way to do so. Turns out, the hand was trying to lift everyone up...and I saw my chance! So I ran down to the bottom of the list to push everyone up a bit and helped that hand that helped me.
So here I am at the bottom of the list again and oh so happy to be here. I am in the same place as I was before and nothing is the same.
I can see Canada on a clear day from the roof of my home...and am currently taking a break from repairing a fence for the horse, feeding the chickens and plowing the field...so my neck is red too! :)
Well..Its quite a mix...right in the middle of Omish country...Its got to the point where the Omish-Rednecks live in trailer parks with the horses and buggys parked out front...and everyones called Junior.
2 Indian reservations to the north...People moving in from across the sea.. and buying up gas stations, coffee shops and driving taxies.
Then theres the French..plus the Noufies..'parley vous francais....and eh Boy
In the winter? Everyone makes babies...In the Fall? Everyone has babies..
Its the highest area in Ontario Canada..for booze consumption..
I see a list where names go across instead of up and down...and it loops around in a circle and we are one and the same in the greater whole... and that brings me to a question I ponder... what list?
I see a list where names go across instead of up and down...and it loops around in a circle and we are one and the same in the greater whole... and that brings me to a question I ponder... what list?
While I easily understand the whole "circular vs linear" thing you're talking about, it is never the less true that we humans have a natural inner list of importance that is embedded deep inside us. If the Self is placed at the top of the list, an unhappy life is guaranteed.
