"The most honorable thing is not to never make mistakes, but to admit to them when you do make them, and then to follow through and do your best to make the wrong things right.
Mistakes are part of growing. They are a natural part of every worthwhile endeavor.
If someone refuses to support you as you grow beyond your past mistakes, they are now the one thats making a mistake. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy and serves no purpose in creating a better day today. If someone continuously judges you by your past, holds it against you, and refuses to forgive you, you might have to repair your present and future by leaving them behind."
My first sponsor used to suggest, "Angel, dare to make a new mistake. You've made the old ones so often, you've got to be getting bored."
She was right. Fear often holds us in bondage to our old mistakes. We fear change because - what if it doesn't work out? How would that be any different than the way things were going for me before?
Sounds like you had a great sponsor....I fear change too and have had to force myself to go outside of my comfort zone. I didn't share in the meetings because I was scared I would make a mistake pronouncing a word(s). I used to get teased so much and even as an adult got made fun of because I would mistake the pronunciation or meaning of words. Sometimes I couldn't help it--because I have an accent. I was born in Alabama, and lived there only a couple of years but would go back during the summer and my friends would tell me my accent had gotten "worse". Grew up in Virginia and moved to Texas in my early 20's. I had people in VA asking me where I was from and people in TX asking me where I was from. No one thought I sounded like I was from VA. And I got made fun of the way I pronounced words like "bed" and "head". Even my own daughter teased me about some of the words and I remember quitting helping at her school because her classmates started making fun of me after she did it. It was just too much to go through it when I was in school and then having that happen at her school. Anyway, it called attention to me and made me more self conscious about my voice. Maybe that's why I post more than I actually talk. No one can "hear" my postings. What does my accent have to do with my posting about making mistakes and the response? I don't know.... maybe I made another mistake by thinking it did.
Anyway, I don't worry as much now about it as I did since I have been in AA and working the program. I have been sharing and chairing at meetings. Something I had told myself I'd never be able to do. It is amazing. So I guess when I think about it...I am getting over my fear of making mistakes with words and getting teased about my accent...so it does have something to do with my posting, I guess.
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Friday 16th of May 2014 03:34:49 PM
I too get teased about my accent. I have lived in about 40 states and probably that many countries - depending upon what you define as 'lived'. I've had driver's licenses in at least twenty states... lessee, Alaska, Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Arizona, Oklahoma, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Florida... I could probably do it if I had a map. :)
Anyway, I went to a private high school in New England and promptly picked up that accent. Because it is considered a 'lazy accent' (no offense intended to anyone from that area), that one tends to be my default accent - but put me around someone from the south for three minutes and you'd swear I was born and bred there; around someone from south of the border for three minutes and Homeland Security starts demanding my green card, etc. The people that laugh or poke fun at me to my face tend to be my friends and family and I'm only too happy to bring a smile to their face any way I can - and the ones who laugh behind my back? Glad to make them happy too! :)
I made a whole lot of mistakes before I got sober, and of course, I've made a lot of mistakes during the past 26 years of my sobriety. But, it seems to me the kinds of mistakes I make in sobriety are not of the "life-altering variety", like back in the past. When your thinking changes, the type of mistakes you make changes....and, they're a lot easier to correct. Step 10 has saved my butt many times.
