I had the mistaken idea that once I got sober and attended AA meetings my life would get so much better. It did get better in some ways. In others, it didn't... and I guess I was what some call a "dry drunk". I didn't need a sponsor or need to work those Steps. In my mind, as long as I did the first one or two Steps--I was "cured". Well, it took me several months of crap still flying all around my head, some near misses and some hitting me in the face, until I realized where the crap was coming from. It wasn't so much from other people and things flinging it my way--it was myself! Once I got a sponsor who worked the Steps with me, that's when my crappy thinking started to change. I can handle things so much better now and don't feel as victimized as I once did. Oh sometimes, (like Monday...) there's a piece or two of crap that will still fly outta my head and head straight for me....I just need to "go with the flow" and not be as fearful and try not to play the blame game anymore. I am learning "Shi@ happens" and sometimes I still have some real "Stinkin' Thinkin' going on up there. The good thing is, I am learning how to duck when it flies towards me.
(Sorry about the visual imagery...I just had a burning desire to share. )
BTY
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Wednesday 14th of May 2014 07:35:13 AM