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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Can't Sleep
Post Info TOPIC: Can't Sleep
Enigma


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Can't Sleep
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Well I'm awake it's 1am and I can't get back to sleep. Miss my bed, kids, house and wife. But I'm not suffering. Went to men's BB meeting tonite and there were two newcomers with 2 weeks of sobriety. Of course I had to share my ESH. Told them they are miracles cause they are sober today. That you don't have to live your life like that ever again today. It is a very unnatural act for a alcoholic to get sober. Goes against everything he believes in after years of warping our brain. It is a traumatic life changing event. But it does get better. All we have is today and if you stayed sober then it was a good day because you had another chance at this school of life to do the next right thing. I remember what it took to overcome the fear of raising my hand to let people know I was new. God already has them in the palm of his hand but they can't see it cause their glasses or still foggy. I may be going through some rough times but I don't have to drink. For to drink is to die. Step 1 is the only 1 I have to get 100% and be absoluty convinced of. Life has no guarantees but I can be resonably happy without a drink. I'm just grateful today for my sobriety and another chance to do the next right thing. I can get off the crazy train and not have to go any further cause I do have a choice. I know I've been blinded recently but now I have my God glasses on. I don't know what tommorow holds but I know I can trust and rely on God. I can be kind to myself today and love me. I'm not a failure or a piece of shit. I to deserve great things regardless of the past. I'm just another alcoholic healing a little bit ODAT trudging the road to happy destiny. Ron

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betterthanyesterday52


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Ron...
Great posting and you are helping others by sharing how you are going through what you are and not drinking. I think it is great that you are concerned about the newcomers. There are alot of them that come here and never have the courage to post. They do read what others are posting and I know those that come to this site and read your posting above and others you have done will be encouraged that they too have the opportunity to get and stay sober.

BTY

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Mike D


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Hi Ron,

I think you're doing an amazing job of dealing with an almost unbearable situation because you've put yourself in God's capable hands.  Your story will help and inspire many others in the near future.  Keep the faith!

Blessings always, Mike D.



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Enigma


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Thanks for the ESH. I could use all the support that is out there. This does suck and this too shall pass . I'm not gonna lie. I do wish I was with her and able help her and make wrong right again. I really so much wanted to be a part of her life as opposed to apart from. I still have hope but have to keep it in today and take care of myself. IDK if I kept to my side of the street more if things would have been different. I know what I was doing didn't work. I can't control another. It will take months or yrs to clear this mess. A whole lifetime spent won't completely clear the wreckage. I'm just grateful she stayed with me this long. This is why it is so important to keep it in today. Someone asked how you can be happy, joyous and free if one lives in the past. The answer is you can't. You have to let it go and forgive or you will be constantly agitated, doubtful and non trusting of yourself or others. Ron

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betterthanyesterday52


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Actually, your thinking sounds pretty positive to me. I don't hear a lot of "poor me's" and I have to say, for months after I first got sober I was full of them and it took me a good while before I came around to thinking anywhere near the way you are. In fact, I still have the "poor me's" and have to rein myself back in and try and keep my mind from running loose. I think you are doing great given your circumstances and YOU ARE NOT DRINKING! That is tremendous!!! What a blessing you are to others on this board!

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Pythonpappy


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Great post Enigma, ... just wanted you to know, it took me a few months after detox to start getting some real sleep ... I couldn't seem to turn my brain 'off' ...plus it took that long for my body to adjust to no alcohol ... it's a bitch, but it passes ...



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
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