Made a amend to the 1st former wife tonite. Went way better than expected. It felt good to clean my side of the street with her. I can see it wasn't so much about me as it was her. I honestly could hear the forgiveness in her heart for herself. I could tell it brought her consolation and comfort. I'm on cloud nine right now but my feet are planted on the ground. How spiritually powerful this was.
The miracles keep coming. Found a recovering alcoholic i work with all the time. I suspected they were but was not sure. Opened up and talked about my situation. They opened up their home to me while I'm working so I can save on gas. The blessings keep pouring in. Thank God for this fellowship.
One part of the miracle of an amends is we get to relieve our victim from their own prison of self blame and shame and worry that they had been the one who did the harm...they carry it for years as my last amends did, father and son carried the guilt and shame and self blame against their own selves for 22 years and when I called to set up the amend both knew exactly who I was as if it was the afternoon I did a terrible harm. "We could never have expected such a thing to happen" was what I was told. They thought they would take the pain with them for ever. Set them free from it...HP wills it. It is a form of love.
A well received amends is a good thing and several on the trot are better. They set you up to better deal with the amends that are rejected. You may have those too. And of course the amends that are welcome one day can be spurned by the same recipient the next. Bewildering when that happens. Worse when there's a length of time between one day and the next.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
