I was asked to be the guest speaker at a women's prison next month. I am quite nervous about it as I still don't share that much and I have never been a speaker before. I will be doing alot of praying to God before that happens to help me. I have learned in AA when someone asks me to do something, I should say yes. (Unless, of course, it is someone 13th stepping which I've had happen several times, then it is ok to say "no".) Anyway, this will be good for me as since early in my sobriety I was interested in helping with one of the meetings in this kind of environment and it will give me a chance to see what it is like. I also will be helping with meetings in a psychiatric ward in one or two hospitals on a rotating basis. I wanted to know if any of you have any experience with either of these. I did help in a hospital one time. I was only one day sober and it was several years ago and I was detoxing and felt so bad I don't remember much about it. Another AA'er invited me to an evening meeting and I didn't know until we were on our way there where the meeting would be held.
It will go how it's supposed to. To me, my nervousness came because I thought I was SUPPOSED to be something I am not. My ego was out of whack. I either thought I was queen bee and had to act like it, or I thought I was worthless and shouldn't even be there.
For me, in speaking - which was the thing I started off my alcoholic career with by the way, performing music on stage, the first time I drank "out of place' was in the bathroom before a concert at 2 pm because I learned I couldn't get up there without my knees shaking and even my mouth shaking so bad I couldn't sing everything I rehearsed - anyway - it was all due to false perceptions of myself.
I don't have to be perfect. If I do it just okay... that's okay... if I do it bad, I will learn from it, if I do it awesome, what a gift! But the pressure my mind puts on me is gone because I'm alright as is, and I accept me as is.
So, no matter how it goes, it will go as it's supposed to, and you'll be just fine and an A.Okay lady just the same. God's beautiful child and loved eternally.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I was asked to be the guest speaker at a women's prison next month. I am quite nervous about it as I still don't share that much and I have never been a speaker before. I will be doing alot of praying to God before that happens to help me. I have learned in AA when someone asks me to do something, I should say yes. (Unless, of course, it is someone 13th stepping which I've had happen several times, then it is ok to say "no".) Anyway, this will be good for me as since early in my sobriety I was interested in helping with one of the meetings in this kind of environment and it will give me a chance to see what it is like. I also will be helping with meetings in a psychiatric ward in one or two hospitals on a rotating basis. I wanted to know if any of you have any experience with either of these. I did help in a hospital one time. I was only one day sober and it was several years ago and I was detoxing and felt so bad I don't remember much about it. Another AA'er invited me to an evening meeting and I didn't know until we were on our way there where the meeting would be held.
Thanks so much!
This is my thoughts on this, .... and not everyone will agree ... Be very 'cautious' saying yes to every request made of you in AA ... it can be very easy, early in AA, to be so eager to help others, that you get 'overwhelmed' by how much 'time' you commit yourself to ...
Never forget, it's your sobriety that comes 1st ... especially for the 1st two years for me ... and I have seen 1st hand the results of those with less than 2 years over-commit themselves and then getting overwhelmed and then suddenly, give up ... Take It Easy ... if you feel comfortable doing these things, by all means, do them ... ... ... but if you ever start getting that feeling that it is 'TOO MUCH', ... back off and slow down immediately ...
Never feel sorry or bad if you find yourself saying 'no' to a request of your time and efforts ... if you sense ANY pressure to do certain things, just say no ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Whew! Pappy, you made me feel so much better as I worried about doing just that! So thank you so much for easing my mind on that one.
Phil, 2 hours????
I thought I would only have to speak for 15-20 min. and I was told not to give out my phone number and address to anyone. I am not sure about email.
I was asked to be the guest speaker at a women's prison next month. I am quite nervous about it as I still don't share that much and I have never been a speaker before. I will be doing alot of praying to God before that happens to help me. I have learned in AA when someone asks me to do something, I should say yes. (Unless, of course, it is someone 13th stepping which I've had happen several times, then it is ok to say "no".) Anyway, this will be good for me as since early in my sobriety I was interested in helping with one of the meetings in this kind of environment and it will give me a chance to see what it is like. I also will be helping with meetings in a psychiatric ward in one or two hospitals on a rotating basis. I wanted to know if any of you have any experience with either of these. I did help in a hospital one time. I was only one day sober and it was several years ago and I was detoxing and felt so bad I don't remember much about it. Another AA'er invited me to an evening meeting and I didn't know until we were on our way there where the meeting would be held.
Thanks so much!
This is a great topic to discuss with your sponsor and the oldtimers in your group that know you personally.
Hi Bob,
My sponsor is aware of all of this and my fear of speaking and is very supportive. I have been coming here so long and shared so much with people on this board, I feel like people know me better here than in the rooms. My fault, I know, as like I have said in several of my postings, I have been quite shy and backward about opening up much at all to others except for lately. I will try to muster up enough courage to ask around though.Don't know how I think I am even going to get in front of people and be the guest speaker by that time.
I wanted to add, that in Georgia, we were 'required' to attend a state 'orientation' class before being allowed to attend or participate in a prison or jail meeting ... ... ... to discuss such issues that Phil mentioned above ... plus the fact that you must go through 'security check points' to ensure you don't have contraband not allow past certain doors ... here in Tenn. and where you are, I don't know the procedures ...
And this also adds to the time you need to add to do a meeting ... you don't just walk in and do a preamble, pray, and begin ... it's much more involved ... and getting to the meeting room may be a long walk ... (have on comfortable shoes, LOL ...)
-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Tuesday 8th of April 2014 02:33:15 PM
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi BTY, a couple of words of advice I got on this topic:
1. As long as we keep our talk based on the 'what I was like, what happened, what I am like now' format, we will say the right things. We're not there to sell AA or tell anyone what they should do. Our personal story, both before and after getting sober, is the message. No different from any other meeting.
2. Before you speak in a meeting in a jail, make sure you do not have any outstanding old warrants! You want to be allowed to leave after the meeting. No joke.
Thanks, Pappy. I didn't think of the possibility of the long walk so I will leave my heels at home and pull out the ole flats. I did find out that the speakers don't have to take the orientation class here. However, I will have to have a photo ID (never have gotten one since I lost my license years ago) so I am going to DMV to have that done tomorrow. If I decide to help with the meetings after this, I will have to take that orientation class you mentioned.
Hi dave, as far as the warrants are concerned, I am good on that.
I appreciate your advice... I always enjoy shares where people tell what has worked/is working for them instead of coming across in a "You have to do this or that" method. I don't think I could tell anyone what to do in the rooms knowing the way I am now. And especially not in a prison :)
First of all, I completely agree with Pappy. Contrary to popular A.A. opinion, it's perfectly okay to say "no" to A.A. requests sometimes. There's no way you can possibly do everything they ask you to do. It really IS possible to get overwhelmed with too many A.A. activities and burn yourself out....which is not good for you. This is where our A.A. slogan, Easy DoesItreally comes into play.
Now, here's my experience with being nervous about speaking in A.A. The first couple of times I spoke to an A.A. crowd, I was one big ball of nerves. I was only a few months sober and I hadn't completed the first nine Steps yet. I got through it, but I was a wreck. Several months later, after I had finished my 9th Step amends, I was asked to speak again to a very large group. Strangely enough, I wasn't really nervous at all. What was the difference? Before I'd worked the Steps, I was still one big ball of Ego who wanted all of them to like me. After the Steps, all I wanted to do was help each one of them to stay sober. My focus wasn't on me, so I didn't really care if they liked me or not. It wasn't about me anymore.....it was only about them.
You've grown a lot. Maybe it's time to share your growth. Pray and God will be with you all the way.
Thanks so much Mike. I feel so much better about it now. I have told myself the few times when I have shared and read in meetings it is not about me as well as I do pray before I have to do any talking at all in front of a group. I used to suffer from bad anxiety attacks in school when I got up in front of the class. I was class president for two years and the only way I was able to get up in front of everyone was to crack jokes. Of course that was years ago, and this is the first time I can remember since then I have done anything like this--I have always avoided it until now.
I want to say something which will be helpful to others instead of stuttering all over myself and/or going blank. I think your posting will really help me.
When I did my 1st speaker meeting, I had made a list of "You might be an Alcoholic, If" jokes(real things I'd done), and I started with that ... ... ... this was patterned after Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck, If" jokes ... It brought the house down ... after the laughter subsided, I proceeded to tell the what it was like, what happened, and what it was like now ... and like sharing at a meeting, I was at complete and total ease (only this time, I got to share for 40 minutes rather than 3 or 5 minutes) ... and like Mike said, I believe a prayer before the meeting, pleading that God put the words in my mouth, to share what others needed to hear, helped more than anything else ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi Bob, My sponsor is aware of all of this and my fear of speaking and is very supportive. I have been coming here so long and shared so much with people on this board, I feel like people know me better here than in the rooms.
This is the attraction of on-line forums/recovery for many. We "feel" like we are included and part of the group.
Truth is you really don't know me at all. You form an opinion of what you would "like" me to be based on my text submissions here.
I will tell you that I look nothing like my picture .......
When I sit at a table with a person, read their body language and look them right in the eye while listening to their words I have a LOT better idea of the person.
Face to face meetings and communication with the other drunk is where the magic happens.
On-line meetings is kind of like on-line sex Exciting and fun .. but in the end we feel that something is missing. It could be better.
Trust the judgement of your sponsor and your group's oldtimers. They know the whole situation a lot better than I do.
Bob posted..... "This is the attraction of on-line forums/recovery for many. We "feel" like we are included and part of the group.
Truth is you really don't know me at all. You form an opinion of what you would "like" me to be based on my text submissions here."......
That's interesting...I didn't realize I do that and thanks for teaching me something new today. I guess I used the wrong wording...you're right. I really don't know anyone here. Guess I got too darn comfortable with you all. And you really don't look like your pic????? Shucks, and all this time, I thought you were a real cutie who really stuck your neck out for others.
I did talk to a couple of members last night after my meeting about this who have some experience doing these things.
I was just coming here to see if anyone had any experience with either of these two types of meetings and do appreciate the responses I received. I didn't really feel it needed to be a face-to-face interaction to hear from others here.
LMAO Bob, ... ... ... Yep, I thought, wow, Bob sure looks like he's got some Emu or Ostrich in the family line ... good to know it hasn't effected your good judgement, LOL ...
I think we who are part of this AA family here, 'on-line', have developed a true 'feel' for those that speak from the heart as opposed to those that are putting on a 'show' ... some of us actually exchange email addresses and phone numbers, addresses, and other personal info via the PM message center here ... I think it's cool ... but I also agree with Bob 100% with the face-to-face meetings, you can 'read' a persons 'body language' that way ... tuff to do that here ... you can't always tell if someone is lying to you, not like 'face-to-face' ... ... ...
This is a great thread here ... lots of good stuff ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Exciting and fun .. but in the end we feel that something is missing. It could be better.