I talked to someone yesterday and she told me that she had a drinking problem and had decided to stop drinking. I invited her to my meeting last night and she couldn't go however, she said she really wanted to go tonight and said that she wanted to know I would be there and I said I would. Well, she just called and said she is not coming--at all. Really down about this. I know how it goes though. I was the same way. Just hadn't had enough crap happen to me at those times which made me decide I had enough of drinking and was really serious about quitting. I really didn't know what to tell her because I didn't want to be too pushy. I just told her if she changed her mind to please give me a call and told her if she needs to talk to give me a call, although, I don't know how much good I will be to her if she refuses to go to meetings because AA is how I have stayed sober.
Hey BTY, ... similar thing happen to me last year ... one of my son's best friends & neighbor has a problem with alcohol ... last year I was talking to him about how I used to drink ... he asked how I quit, and I told about AA and taking things 'one day at a time' ... he said he had it under control ... I said well, if you ever come to the conclusion you may have a problem, call me, and we'll go to meet'n together ... couple months later, he got a DUI ... I reminded him that the offer to go to a meet'n was still open ... and if he didn't want to do that, that I would come over and just talk ...
My son told me the last few weeks, this guy has been coming over to his house pretty well plastered ... he's really a great guy and good friends with my son, but this is driving a deep wedge between them ... being wheelchair bound, my son needs friends he can depend on when the occasion arises ... like me for instance ... so I plan to check on this guy next week when I go do some repairs on my son's house ... hope he'll start listening soon ...
Of course I know it doesn't do any good to 'push' ... the best we can do is let our prospect know that we're there for them if they decide they need help ... all we can do is pray that they won't die before getting help ... (sometimes 'pride' will hold a person back from getting any help ... we can't do anything about that ... they have to 'humble' themselves enough to seek help ...)
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thank you all for your responses. This really caught me off guard as yesterday she had said she didn't want to go at first and then I just listened to her and then told her a few things that I had been through which were similar to hers without being too long-winded. It seemed as if her whole attitude and even tone had changed before the conversation ended with her sounding actually pretty excited about coming and starting her "new life". Then today when she called I felt like I knew what she was going to say from her tone before she said it. After I hung up the phone, it really got to me which surprised the heck out of me. However, I thought to myself that tears out of concern for someone else was not a bad thing and not to feel badly about it. What did worry me is if I take something like this so hard and I haven't even met the person, how am I going to handle it later when it is someone I know better? I guess I am "borrowing trouble" as my mom used to tell me, and I will just try and not worry about the future and pray for guidance when it comes up again as well pray for whoever it is I try to help.
you guys...(and I'll be thinking about you, Pappy. I hope all goes well with that situation.) BTY
The first step says "we admitted we were powerless...." Alcohol or Alcoholic or Alcoholism...I'm powerless. "God can and will if he is sought" and you are the instrument and only one of many. Good first move...hand and hand with HP and good first step. Keep moving forward in your own sobriety because as I understand it everything else centers around my own sobriety. Do not loose the hope. (((((hugs)))))
