This is something I am working on right now. As a matter of fact, after my meeting last night, I was having coffee with another member who has been sharing info about another member which makes me uncomfortable. I like being around this person (well, sometimes....), however, some of the time he has this need to be overly interested in the going-ons on others. Last night was one of those times and I started thinking about how I was getting worked up listening to him and thinking I really needed to get out of that place soon or I was going to take it upon myself to correct him. Well, actually, I did suggest he sit in the front row (which I have just started to do) so he wouldn't notice this person he was talking about coming in late all the time. I am not sure if that was my place or not. Then he was sharing what he heard someone say about another member as if it were true and I suggested to him to not believe everything he heard. Again, not sure if it was my place. Everytime I made my suggestions, he always had a reply which went like this...."well, let me tell you something else...." or "just listen to me..."(said very abruptly as it appeared that he was determined to have something to say negative about this person and was looking for people to agree with his comments rather than rebuke him.) I found myself going from annoyed to out and out angry at this person and it was hard for me not to express to him just what a so-and-so he was being.
I was not in a position to just get up, say a polite "good night" and leave when I wanted to, I was stuck there until my ride said it was time to leave. So I just sat there, sipping my coffee, and started to tune the man's words out and focused on my own thoughts. I realized that what was going through my mind was being judgmental of him and perhaps I was not that much different than him by doing so. I said a prayer to God to help me have tolerance for others and to help me work on my own patience--which was really tested last night--and not feel the need to be critical of others' behavior. Then I started to feel some peace which gradually replaced the four letter words which I had been thinking. Great post! BTY
Hi BTY, ... good post of your thoughts ... I feel it shows you've made tremendous progress here ... to 'suggest' what you feel is the right attitude to have is the key, you know, not in a demanding way ... and as far as what this guy was sharing regarding others, I'd just say that that is none of my business, I have a hard enough time trying to do the 'next right thing' on my own ... and what others think of my actions is none of my business and I cannot stop them from making it their business if they wish to waste their time on such frivolous thinking ... and I'd remind them that there is noth'n to be gaining by talking to others behind someone's back ... if they have something negative that bothers them about another person, then they should have the courtesy to speak to them directly ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
