When we do for other people what they should do for themselves, we both stay stuck.
Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. We're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.
One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, and their responsibilities. Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.
Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.
I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I like the basic premise behind this. How many years did I waste with the thinking that, if he or she would only change, I'd be happier? Happiness only came to me when I changed, not other people.
This posting says so much to me as I am still guilty of expecting things from others which I need to do myself as well as having that need for approval from others. Lots of work to be done, however I am optimistic by continued sobriety and working the program I'll get there. Thanks for posting, Pappy.
