20. You have awakened with an overwelming feeling that you should go back and apologize... but you don't remember where.
19. The Tipsy Taxi service has banned you from all its vehicles.
18. You refer to your favorite song only by its jukebox selection numbers, G-12.
17. People consider your spouse a Saint for reasons that totally escape you.
16. Your least favorite song: "Goodnight, Sweetheart."
15. The last time you had a legal driver's license, so did Ted Kennedy.
14. You bought your current pick-up truck because it has a cool place to hide a six pack.
13. Your last public sing-along experience included the entire Changes in Latitutes album.
12. "But Officer, it's been a long time since I tried to say my ABC's!"
11. You have considered starting a local chapter of DAMM, Drunks Against Mad Mothers.
10. All of your old friends are now members of 12-step groups.
9. The 911 disptacher no longer has to ask your wife for the address.
8. You think the nutritional information on the back of a beer can is proof that you should be able to buy it with food stamps.
7. The only hymn to which you remember all the words was written by Hank Williams, Sr.
6. "Screw dinner!"
5. You know for certain that putting your foot on the floor does not stop the room from spinning.
4.Your insurance agent drops by and mentions your policy does cover treatment centers.
3. You know the punch line to "Why does an Al-Anoner close her eyes to make love?"
2. The producers of the television program COPS still send you Christmas cards.
And the Number One way you can tell if you have a drinking problem...
1. Two words: Commode Huggin'.
LMAO, ... but really ???, .... these hit way too close to home with me ... ... ... I'm grateful they are in the distant past though ... ... ... Thanks Phil, ... this woke me up this a.m. for sure ... ... ...
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Yep , hugging th "dunnee" with all your strength .
coz th world is out of whack & spinning too quick.
Rick.
@ 37 I was too young & good looking to be an alkie.
still too young , still got th good looks. still n alkie.
I relate to many of these, too....or I should I say "related". Thanks so much for the a.m. funnies, Phil!
