"Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that we deal with alcohol--cunning, baffling, powerful!" Pg 58 AA book.
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker." Pg 30 AA book.
If I had not taken those steps when my sponsor forced me to, I would not have been alive today. I never knew that it was the "idea" that was going to make me relapse and die. Today that idea has long been put to rest by working the steps. Thank God, I can now get on with the business of living well in this life. The book told me that resentments and fears had made me squander the many hours that could have been worthwhile.
Some might call that idea...Pure insanity. I held on to that idea for 35 fricken years. Til there was no more fight left in me.
Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.
No treatment councilor or doctor or any other kind of health care professional could persuade me that I have no power or control over alcohol. Alcohol itself persuaded me. As you've heard me say before here, it stopped giving me relief from my inner pain, and started to give me way more pain than I'd ever had before. Mike D.
Wow, holding on to my 'old ideas' did the same for me ... insanity was the rule of the day ... I most identify with Stepdude here ... 1st drink at 20 y/o and the last at 55 y/o ... 35 years worth of crazy a** thinking ...
Mike D shared what happened to me exactly as it happened ... I still find it sometimes hard to believe just how closely our pasts are ... amazing really ... more evidence that I AM NOT UNIQUE ... there are others out there just like me ... ... ...
Thanks for the post Gonee ... ... ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I am reading echoes of what happened to me on these postings by you guys. It took me so long before I realized, too, that the answers I were searching for were not found in the contents of a Ylang Ylang or fermented grapes. They are found in the contents of the Big Book and the hope that my Higher Power and the continued attendance and service work at AA meetings will keep changing me into a person who can stay sober and be of help to other recovering alcoholics, which is what I believe God's intention for my life is.
