So I'm Bipolar, and a month ago I threaten suicide, of course a friend called the cops and one was waiting at my home when a friend conviced me to go home. I have had 3 overdoses in the past. A month ago my mind was racing I could not raltionalize my thoughts and emotions. I felt I was really going crazy. No pot so it made things worst. I was to see a new phych. doctor. I got an early appt. She had precsibed me something that she felt I needed something to relax my mind. I did not know that a private doctor can prescibe Klonipin. So off to thr drug store I went when I got the drug store I found out she had precribed Klonipin. So me one told me to night that since I was an addict that I was not really completely sober. What do you think? I take it as prescibed.
-- Edited by hopee on Sunday 2nd of March 2014 12:09:49 AM
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I'm tired of this crappy part of myself, I think I'll take another look and see what else there is.
gather what strength I have, wrestle with life and have fun with it.
Well, there is a fine line here and it all comes down to self honesty. Doctors prescribe medication based on what we tell them and what they can conclude on the information available.
Over the years I have met a few people with serious emotional/mental disorders on top of their alcoholism. This is a matter betwen the doctor and the individual and has nothing to do with their alcoholism or AA membership, and it is vital they follow their doctor's advice. This is treatement for an illness seperate to alcoholism.
These days there seem to be many more alcoholics with mental disorders requiring medication, and the fellowship generally seems to have adopted the view that we are much more honest with our doctors today, than the alcoholics of old. We wouldn't dream of spinning them a little yarn in order to find and easier softer way, a way to avoid the pain and discomfort that goes with recovery and spiritual growth.
In the old days we alcoholics were much more devious. The Book puts it thus:
"Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery!"
I know the seriousness of bi-polar, one of my best friends suffers with it and has done so for many years. He is fine with his medication, and just as sober as any other recovered alcoholic.
The important thing is to be absolutely honest with the doctor and ourselves. Nothing else matters.
There is a pamphlet in AA called: "AA and medicine." It contains all the info. Otherwise you will end getting unqualified advice from me, which can jeopardize your recovery.
All my doctors know that 15 years ago I was in rehab for prescription drugs, and was going to AA. I told my medical dr. my phych. dr. and my therapist I was highly addicted to pot and have a tendecey to self-medicate this even included cutting when their were no other means to self-medicate. But my doctors also know I rarely, rarley ever self-medicate with pills any more. I should have already refilled my Klonipin by now, but I am cutting them into 1/4 because they kick my butt. So it will probably be another 2 1/2 weeks before I will need more. My Bipolar is the worst kind but without the anger and vilocence ( sp? ). I feel my doctors knows what is best for me. And I am very honest with my doctor's. I see a therapist once a week and she has permission to talk to my phych. doctor, their in the same office. And I'm totaly honest with my therapist too.
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I'm tired of this crappy part of myself, I think I'll take another look and see what else there is.
gather what strength I have, wrestle with life and have fun with it.
All my doctors know that 15 years ago I was in rehab for prescription drugs, and was going to AA. I told my medical dr. my phych. dr. and my therapist I was highly addicted to pot and have a tendecey to self-medicate this even included cutting when their were no other means to self-medicate. But my doctors also know I rarely, rarley ever self-medicate with pills any more. I should have already refilled my Klonipin by now, but I am cutting them into 1/4 because they kick my butt. So it will probably be another 2 1/2 weeks before I will need more. My Bipolar is the worst kind but without the anger and vilocence ( sp? ). I feel my doctors knows what is best for me. And I am very honest with my doctor's. I see a therapist once a week and she has permission to talk to my phych. doctor, their in the same office. And I'm totaly honest with my therapist too.
Sounds like you have a good idea of what you need to do..here is a short excerpt from the AA pamphlet, Medications and Other Drugs, someone mentioned. You can go to the link and read all the rest of it, if you want....
BTY
4
Introduction
Because this subject involves important medical
decisions, a group of physicians who are mem
-
bers of A.A. and two physicians who are friends of
A.A. were asked to review this pamphlet.
Some A.A. members must take prescribed
medication for serious medical problems.
However, it is generally accepted that the mis
-
use of prescription medication and other drugs
can threaten the achievement and maintenance
of sobriety. It may be possible to minimize the
threat of relapse if the following suggestions are
Hopee, It sounds like you are approaching this the right way. I've heard folks say similar things to me regarding my psych meds. Screw them. They are not me. I've taken Klonopin in sobriety. People don't respond too well to that since it's a benzo but again - screw them cuz I never have taken it beyond prescription since I stopped drinking and the script is a low dose.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Someone told me to night that since I was an addict that I was not really completely sober. What do you think?
I hate hearing this kind of stuff...I'll put it like this. Whatever that person who told you this thinks about you is none of your business. You have some great responses here....I really liked what Fyne Spirit had to say....Now I'd suggest you discuss it with this new sponsor you have. This whole program is based on honesty hopee....Honesty to yourself....And to a power greater than yourself....Without that....It just doesn't work. Have a good day hopee....And keep moving forward!
I was upset about the whole situation this morning, my sobrity at this point means the world to me. I've got where I look forward to going to meetings. So much I got there an hour early this morning so I did have time to call my sponser. She was so helpful. She was O.K. with it since I'm taking it as prescribed. She was impressed that because I did not like the way a whole made me feel. So I ask my doctor if I could cut them in half and she was O.K. with it. I still was uncomfortable with the way they made me feel so like I said I've cut them in fourths. I don't see my doctor again to tell her I did this until April 29th. When I see her again I'm going to ask for the lowest dose. Right now I feel I need a little of it. I suffer from panic attacks and sever anxiety and the Klonipin has stop both. Once my mind and racing thoughts stop then I knew I wanted sobrity and that is what helped me make the rational decsion to go to AA. I have been about 3 weeks clean and going to AA at least 5 times a week. My AA meetings has already made me feel like I have a new family. A family I can learn from and draw strength and courage from ,of course God is my one day at a time. My spiritual life has become more and more meaningful to me. I spend time with God on and off through the day just talking. My sponsor, sponser is Bipolar too so she is going to talk to her today and get back with me this afternoon. But she said for now don't worry about it. She said I'm doing good and she can tell I'm serious about my sobrity. I talk to her every day and see her at the noon meetings , she has many, many years of sobrity. I trust her opinion. And I told her if I started miss using this drug I will be honest and tell her.
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I'm tired of this crappy part of myself, I think I'll take another look and see what else there is.
gather what strength I have, wrestle with life and have fun with it.
For what it's worth...And I'm not saying this is for you....I suffered severe anxiety and panic attacks and was prescribed Xanax while I was still drinking. I drank with them and got worse. I stopped the Xanax on my own but couldn't stop the drinking....Til it beat me and I admitted defeat. It will be three years for me in few months without a drink or any kind of drug. I've come to realize I was spiritually sick. And those steps were the only thing that solved my problem. I spoken in front of 100+ people about this...Where not that long ago...I couldn't leave the house.
I'm with Stepdude here, ... I too, got a prescription for drugs ... to help with depression ... I continued to drink ... when I got desperate enough to come back to AA, AND when I worked the program and developed a spiritual connection with God, THEN I found I didn't need the drugs or the alcohol ... A 'strong' spiritual foundation can and does cure many ills ... it only requires a little bit of faith ...
I'm NOT saying to stop medication without a Doctor's advice ... but after a while in the program, and based on my spiritual journey, I found that some amazing changes in me have occurred ... and less dependence on medical drugs was one of them ... it takes a fair amount of TIME for our bodies and our minds to get to where they should be ... and 'time' takes 'time' ... ... ...
Recovery doesn't happen overnite ... it takes working the steps and practicing them daily ...
Love you Hopee and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Aloha Hopee...Your intentions and motivations sound good to me...I use to want it that bad myself. For me I am a chemically tolerant person and I needed to find that out in recovery thru the inventory steps. I needed to understand why the doctors needed to over prescribe me because they were not seeing or finding the proper drug reactions they were looking for. I learned in program that "outside" chemicals when mixed with "inside" chemicals often became a dangerous mix. It was my neurosurgeon who pulled me off of all my meds in the past because for my size "a normal person doesn't stand up or much less walk under the load"; besides I was drinking then. This is just for me. I had to learn different ways of healing and the program was a blessing along with other methods. There is a spiritual level we can reach and understand which can aid recovery from problems we suffer with. First thing I had to know was myself...intimately...and it sounds like you are that confident. When I learned about myself intimately I could learn to and do recovery on the things I can change. All of my problems are not attached to alcoholism though alcoholism exacerbates a majority of them. Today I don't drink so what I have to deal with are those parts which are not affected by addiction and compulsion to alcohol. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
So I went to the doctor today and got chewed out for not taking my Klonpin the way she prescibed, I am suppose tp be taking 3 whole ones a day, I started cutting them in half's and 1/4's. This week my mind went craze sh$t because of the cutting back I felt presured my a few here and 2 women in my AA meetings. From now on I'm following DRS. orders. I was rapid cycling bad and had stop sleeping enougth at night ( no naps.)
21 days clean and going to an AA meeting almost every day
-- Edited by hopee on Thursday 6th of March 2014 11:36:00 PM
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I'm tired of this crappy part of myself, I think I'll take another look and see what else there is.
gather what strength I have, wrestle with life and have fun with it.
Congrats on 21 days Hopee ... try making at least one meeting a day for a while ... my sponsor told me to plan each day around a meeting ... since my sobriety was the number one most important thing in my life ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
