There was a recent posting about having slips, or relapsing, in our early attempts at sobriety. I had shared a thought that came to my mind and I hope that no one will mind too much if I share it again as a new topic posting here. For, it brought a lot of different memories back to my mind.
The shame that always comes with a slip can be terribly devastating. We've all had our slips early on and we know how they hurt. But, here's a little story I'd like to share with all of you.
My wife and I have a daughter named Katie who is 29 now. But, when she was a baby and growing through toddler-hood, my wife wrote very detailed entries in her Baby Book each day. She diligently documented every little thing that Katie did as she grew from day to day. It's a family keepsake, so of course we still have that Baby Book and it came in kind of handy when we needed some information recently. We needed to look up the records of all of Katie's vaccinations and shots she'd had as a child. So, we got out the Baby Book to find them. After we got the information, we just started reading through the pages. It was sort of a parents nostalgic trip down "memory lane".
As we turned the pages, we eventually came across the entry where my wife had written down the day and the hour that Katie took her first step and walked. The entries that followed were even more detailed descriptions of Katie learning to walk inside the house and out in the back yard as she played.
Later on, as I was thinking about Katie, I observed something about the Baby Book that made me think about my sober life. It occurred to me that my wife had carefully written down everything about Katie learning to walk. But, she never wrote down anything about all the times Katie fell down. There was no written record of Katie's many failed attempts at walking.
Why not? It's simply because Katie's victories were far more important than her failures.
If you are new to 12 Step recovery, I want you to know that there is no one in Heaven, or on Earth, who is keeping a record of how many times you fall down in this Program. Your victories are way more important than your failures.
I read your response on the posting earlier and thought it was just beautiful, as I do this posting, Mike D. It was well worth posting again in case someone doesn't see the other one. As a mother, my greatest joy was giving birth to my daughter and watching her taking her first steps. Of course she would fall, but she kept trying and she would smile and laugh and every time she started walking again. It was as if she knew that she was accomplishing such a great thing and that was such a wondrous thing to see! She didn't give up but kept trying until she was walking on her own. Thanks so much for sharing this and bringing back such wonderful memories for me as well as relating it to the slips most of us do make before we achieve lasting recovery.
BTY
Very honest and real Mike. That's as truthful as I would need to have it because I use to habitually look over my shoulder to see if anyone was looking and judging. I love the metaphor.
