How would your life be different ifYou walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the dayYou speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
I remember back when I was in school hearing other girls bad mouth others. Although I had right much trouble standing up for myself, sometimes I was able to tell them that it wasn't very nice to talk about others behind their back. I also wondered that if those people could be saying those things about others to me, what could they be saying about me to others?It made it difficult for me to trust them.
Of course, being human, I have been the transmitter of gossip myself. I have said, "I think the neighbor has a drinking problem," or "(such and such) is such an ass" (usually because "such and such" said or did something to hurt me). Usually these types of things are restricted to telling my SO, however, It's still gossip and I need to learn to keep thoughts like those to myself, and better try not to think things like that at all because they are hurtful as well as cruel. I think one of the biggest reasons I have gossiped in the past is because I am recognizing some problem in me that needs work and am using another person as the scapegoat for my insecurities. (Like the drinking neighbor and me being an alcoholic) and someone saying something to me which hurt me perhaps was true and something which I couldn't handle hearing it. Perhaps the person really was acting like an ass, but that is their issue not mine. Anyway, I am just going to try and keep the above quote in mind. I want to feel good about me and if I am gossiping or badmouthing (maybe both the same thing) about someone else, that cannot possibly make me feel better about myself.
Don't ever think that gossip is primarily the domain of the female gender. Men gossip too....mostly at work. And, they mostly gossip about the ways that other men do their work. I've found that the best way to counteract gossip is to act as if you find the story uninteresting. The hurtful words will fall flat if the storyteller thinks that no one will be interested.
Hey Pappy....
If you decide you don't have enough CD's, I will be glad to share some of mine with you.
My mother-in-law, who recently passed and I hate to refer to her as my ("ex" mil), said that she never heard her MIL say one bad thing about another person. I would like to be remembered as that type of person. Got a longgg way to go on that order, though.
You're rubbing off on me BTY ... when I read your post about CD's ... I thought what in the hell does 'Compact Disc's' have to do with anything ??? ... LMAO, when I realized you meant 'Character Defect's' instead ... ... ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Actually I was talking about Compulsive Disorders...but shucks, I guess Character Defects is ok, too. just kidding..... what I have been thinking about alot is another CD's....Chocolate Desserts..... I am not kidding that a few minutes ago, I was feeling pulled to make one of those chocolate cakes. I was trying to figure out if it was my HP guiding me or if it was me wanting chocolate cake guiding me. I got as far as taking the bowl out of the cabinet and putting it on the counter. I thought that I really need to work and make money and not be baking a cake and that I was going to need another sign from my HP before I was going to get into baking it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having your cake and eating it too, LOL ... (oh, isn't making a cake 'work' too ??? ...)
It was a Sobriety Birthday at the meeting today ... so I've had my 'cake' already ... well, + a donut that was left over ... a Lemon filled donut!!! ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Never did make that cake. Worked pretty hard through the evening, too. Did find some time to dip some honey wheat pretzels I got from CVS in some melted chocolate. They were not bad. I haven't had a lemon filled donut in years and years. I'll keep my eyes open for one of those bad boys at the meetings I go, too.
I like the suggestions about what to do when someone is gossiping. Hope I remember them and thank you for the responses. (And I did make that cake. It had burnt edges so I didn't take it. Took some to my sponsor (not the burnt part) and the rest.
Hope I remember them and thank you for the responses.