Hi all I hope you are all doing well. I'm on my 115 day of sobriety and even though I come to this board at least once a week I don't always post but I find much wisdom on this board and you all give me so much help just reading your posts.
I go to a meeting every morning and in the beginning I felt I had so much to share and now I'm finding that I say very little and am listening more. I also have found myself in tears when I relate to someone talking about a subject that hits close to home. I feel like a big baby especially since most at my meetings are men. They never make me feel uncomfortable but I just wish I could stop being so emotional especially since I am not normally that way.
I am not finding myself thinking about drinking as much and I'm trying to work out my higher power issues. I haven't really started working the steps but I'm reading the book and finding myself closer to getting there.
Just wanted to say hello to all and check in and let you know I'm still sober and working.
It is so great to hear from you! I have wondered how you and some others are doing.
Congrats on your 115 days! How great for you!
Also great that you are still going to meetings. I go to meetings and see men dabbing at their eyes. I also get teary hearing some of the shares. I used to get embarrassed, but really don't anymore. It is hard not to get emotional hearing some of the shares and especially ones which are close to what we have experienced.
Having posted, you are probably going to hear from others letting you know how the steps have/are working for them. This is an AA board, after all.
Take care and great to hear from you again!
Good to hear from you DB! Glad to see you're moving in a positive direction. It's the strong who show emotions and the weak who hide or run from them. I have guys in some of meetings that show emotions and they're the same guys who could crush me with one hand if they wanted too. Bouncers and Biker dudes. It's o.k. to be emotional. You're relating and feeling your feelings probably for the first time without a crutch. Feel, deal and heal is the slogan that comes to mind. I remember a counselor in my first detox/rehab who wrote on small piece of paper:
Great to hear from you DB ... sounds like great progress to me ... AND it reminds me of my early days in the AA rooms ... I wanted to share all my wisdom early on, but was told to 'take the cotton outta my ears and stick it in my mouth' ... LOL ... of course I didn't like hearing that, but I did ... I kinda pouted a while BUT I started hearing things that I was missing ... like, before, I would be sitting there thinking so hard on what AND how I was go'n to share, that I missed the message that I was supposed to hear ...
Sounds like you're at the place I passed through years ago ... and that, my dear, is progress ...
Also, I knew I was an emotional baby myself, but hearing some of the stories really got my waterworks go'n ... so much so, I didn't attend a meeting without some tissues in my pocket (so I could at least try to be inconspicuous while drying my eyes ... LOL) ...
Sounds like you may not have a sponsor yet ... I highly recommend you do, so that you have a guide through working the steps ... for me, this was critical ... IT'S TIME !
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hey DB...Congrats on your time....That's awesome. I found myself being very emotional early on also...The only reason I could see for that happening....Was that for the first time in my life...I was getting totally honest with myself. It hurt and felt great at the same time....It often brought me to tears...And I'm a guy. I admire your willingness attending meetings everyday...And for being willing to listen. I can't remember if you have a sponsor or not...But listen for a women that talks about the solution...The steps... and how they work in her life. It's a good way to find one. Keep studying that book....Everything you need to know is in it. And don't be a stranger.
Thank you all for all of the encouraging words. I have found a women at my meeting that I have asked to sponsor me and she has agreed. We are going to start meeting and reading the book together so that I can have a better understanding of it. I'm a little scared to be opening up to someone new but I'm ready to do the work.
I remember a counselor in my first detox/rehab who wrote on small piece of paper: