It kills.. sometimes very quickly sometimes slowly. I have learned that recovery is One day at a time.. I learned to simply to ask God each morning to help me stay sober just for today. I learned regardless of what happensgoodthings. .bad things.. or in between things.. to practice the principles in all my affairs.. EVERY DAY
My question to Phillip HWhat Step were you working?do you think it is Gods will for you to pick up and kill yourself Is that what it says in the 11th step.Of course not. .To pick up is insanity.. the most natural disposition for the alcoholic less he follow the principles of the program. EVERY DAY.
Ive been sober time wise over 40 continuous years since my first AA meeting, today at anchor on a tiny island in the Pacific, not able to get to a meeting in two yearsyet no morning or day goes by without practicing steps 10-11-12. to the best of my limited ability...and asking God to keep me sober just for todayits simple but at times not easy.. we are complicated people with an incurable but recoverable illness and this MUST be done in relative anonymity.. meaning our status in life.. I learned when I came into AA from Yale to Jail, we are ALL the same.. Children of God, given a way out from this deadly, often subtle disease. We dont even know how actually it works ..but it doesIf we are Honest, Open Minded and Willing.
I love the "duplication" process of our progam. I changed my behavior and stopped drinking and then duplicated that each and every day after the first day. Part of that was learning steps, traditions, concepts, slogans, literature, prayer and certainly that I have a Creator Father who has always been here, there and everywhere for me while I was drinking and when I wasn't. I can hear my God more clearly when I'm not and my God suggest that I continue to duplicate what I have learned in recovery. Aloha No. Tomas from an island in the Pacific and many meetings. Phillip went back to old behavior which had a guarantee...insanity and/or death. I know that point myself and decided to duplicate the "other" behavior. He picked up inspite of the awareness and that is the definition with the risk of renewed addiction. The first time and the last time is was risk and everytime in between it was "the risk". The last time it was with the awareness. May his passing contain a 12th step.
