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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> It's one of the days.....
Post Info TOPIC: It's one of the days.....
Lizmccal


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It's one of the days.....
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I wana smoke I wana drink I wana do drugs today. I wana pig out to deal with my wants. I can't do any of it (if I have too I'll eat but I don't want to give to bad behaviors and self distrucktion or the auto correct spelling on my phone).

I got busy stupid busy. I say stupid because I stopped doing the steps. I stopped reading the big book. I dont have time to do meetings every day. Now I'm crazy. I got caught up in school, work and dieting because I need to look good right. This sucks back to basics. Need to pray. More meetings less worry about my ass size. cunning baffling powerful. 

Im ok tonight no drinking/drugs or even smoking. Big book, yoga. I wana lie and say I called my sponcer but I don't have a sponcer. I thought yoga and having a tight ass was more important to focus on. Yep psych bitch just missing my cape. Ok I told on myself. I'll tell on myself tomorrow at a meeting. I should go now but I want to do yoga because thats logic right. Ok meeting I need a meeting but yoga makes me centered and tired. Whatever breath just breath. Meeting I'll go to a meeting. 

Thanks comments welcomed. 



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Stepchild


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I've watched a lot of people come into AA that have tried to fix their lives before they they fixed their problem. They have to get a job...Get an apartment...Get...Get...Get....Before they get recovered. It usually doesn't end up well. You got a job Liz....It's the most important thing you should be working on....The rest will fall into place.

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Mike D


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Amen to what Stepchild said.



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pinkchip


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It will be good if you can find a sponsor....pronto

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betterthanyesterday52


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What you described I can relate. After one of the two times I really wanted to drink was when I finally stopped trying to convince myself "I got this" and got a sponsor. Yesterday was "one of those days". Crappy two days in a row. I was putting my shoes on and thinking to myself, "Good, I have enough money on my card to buy a bottle of wine" knowing that I wouldn't just get one bottle because if I was going to screw up, I was going to screw up big time--might as well. Also knowing that I wouldn't go back to a meeting right away and pick up a white chip and would end up going on another drunk fest for months, maybe years like I have always done when I started drinking again. So I contacted my sponsor who took me to lunch yesterday.
Glad you are realizing what is really important (staying sober) and what is not all that big a deal (like having a tight butt). I don't care if mine looks like a U-Haul truck, as long as I'm sober driving it around.



-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Thursday 6th of February 2014 08:55:15 AM

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Pythonpappy


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Yep, ... Amen to what Stepdude shared ... and I liked what BTY said about having a tight butt, LOL ... one day we come to learn, THAT'S not what's important ... and we learn that sober living IS ...



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Zoomtopz


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You ARE getting Well Liz , isn't it Great to be pissed off than pissed on .

I am So glad you are noticing your priorities . I Believe when we are Not at meetings .

We are Not giving back , what was freely given to us . Yep , to keep this WE Must Give it away .

Even by , just sitting on a seat at a meeting we Are an example to Somebody . So , unknowingly

we help that person . YES , I do heaps of other things , heaps of "spiritual things" as well , I am

a Reiki Master as well as several other "healing modalities" , but  funnily enough , very , Very few

of my AA friends want to know anything about my other "spiritual thingies" & vice versa . As you

said "just breathe" to centre , I do that everywhere  , imagine - I live 450m Nth of Sydney . Australia .

I am 30m out of town in a rural (beef cattle) area , I have 100 acres . Most times going to town , I will

get stuck behind one of these "cow cockies" doing 35 in a 60 zone . on the outskirts of town it drops to

a 50mph zone , I hold them up then , as I do th 50 , they go 55 . Honestly , three farmers  & a uni grad

with a masters degree have told , when I have asked them about this -" It is safer to go a bit quicker in

th 50 zone" that Is Honest . Just breathe Rick . Some times we can't work people out , most times we

Can't work ourselves out , just breathe Rick & help somebody . Yep , get of my own case . if I can't help

somebody . Help Myself , yes , help MySELF , for - I AM a Somebody



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Rick.

@ 37 I was too young & good looking to be an alkie.

still too young , still got th good looks. still n alkie.
Pythonpappy


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Loved your post ZZ ... thanks



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Lizmccal


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Thank you all. It was a day. I've prioritized meetings. Not flipping into panic mode. I guess too much coffee is now something to be aware of. Sponcer getting a sponcer priority an AA sponcer.
Thanks again.

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