The respect and dignity a couple show each other set the table from which they are nourished for all other activities in their lives. Any feeling can be expressed in respectful or disrespectful ways. Anger is one of the most difficult to express respectfully. Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. The crucial thing to learn is how to be angry and still be respectful - how to deal with our impatience without blame or put-downs. Many of us have to learn how to love without being possessive, how to be playful in a lighthearted way with no hidden cutting edge. When we treat our partner with disrespect, we pour poison into our own well. It may feel satisfying at first, but the long-term consequences are not good to live with.
When we are committed to respect in our relationship, we continue to learn at even deeper levels what respect truly means. We find that simply listening to each other - and letting in our differences - is a form of respect that nourishes us.
Name a difference between you and someone close to you that you respect.
It took me a few years of working the Steps to learn that I could express my dissatisfaction about things in a much more kind and respectful manner, and get much better results in the long run. It took me quite a few more years to finally understand that my dissatisfaction isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. When I'm feeling upset or dissatisfied, I know that my ego is getting the best of me again. Thanks for the very inspirational post. Blessings, Mike D.
