When I was drinking I came to this board as well as a couple of others. I am sure I was drinking and/or drunk because I was an everyday drinker and I would feel remorseful even while drinking and especially the next morning when I would wake up and I would frequently tell myself "I am not going to drink today." There were so many days in the last couple of years of my drinking that I would go out and get wine and/or beer around 9:00 a.m. and although sometimes I would tell myself I was going to only have one or two drinks just to "take the edge off", I never stopped drinking and would drink until I would fall asleep--or pass out. So many times I would say if only I would get to an AA meeting or if only I would work up enough courage to post for help on one of those alcoholic boards. Instead I chose to pick up another drink. I did start AA meetings (again after several attempts) and it wasn't too long after that I came back to this board and started posting for help as well. I just wanted to make a suggestion for the newcomer. Maybe you are too scared to go to AA meetings. These boards are a good starting point. I am not suggesting them as a replacement for meetings, because I really believe that AA is so very important. I just wish I had posted for help here sooner since I was so scared to go to AA. The folks here are so wonderful and freely give hope and encouragement and share how they are staying sober. Also, if you don't want to post, you can Private Message me, and I will be glad to "talk" to you. I don't have quite a year yet, and haven't worked the steps like others on here, but I am staying sober one day at a time and am here if you need to talk to someone and are too afraid to post like I was.
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Tuesday 28th of January 2014 08:07:54 AM
It would have helped me BTY. I was scared of my own shadow, let alone fronting up to a room full of strangers.
Lucky for me , when I came in, they followed the suggestions in the big book, rather than just telling me to go to a meeting. It saved my life.
I spent an afternoon with a 12 stepper, a recovered alcoholic who won my confidence. We worked out what my problem was and he told me something of the solution. That night he took me to a meeting, having explained all about how meetings go, particularly that I did not have to do anything I didn't want to.
So I went to my first meeting with one friend who I trusted and by the end, I had two or three more. And so began my recovery. I didn't speak, just looked at the floor and listened. They gave me hope. I realised that I too could recover from this illness.
Courage was never my strong suit. For me it was pure desperation. Any fear of going to an A.A. meeting was nothing compared to my fear of drinking again. Mike D.
I've met many people who said they had a lot of fear about attending their first A.A. meeting, but the openness and friendliness they found inside made them comfortable and eager to come back again. That's why I think our initial response to them is so very important. Blessings to all, Mike D.
Great post BTY! Sharing your experience to help others. That's what AA is all about. Your story is very much like mine. That Merry Go Round day in and day out until something changed. When the pain of where I was at outweighed the fear of trying AA, I moved my feet and got to my first meeting. It sucks that it takes so much for us to change, but that's part of the diesase. I'm grateful today for the pain that got me to move my feet.
Me too, Mike B....I still had fear when I started AA, and my feet weren't moving all that great due to the damage of alcohol...(lots of numbness, tingling which caused me to shuffle quite a bit and balance problems which lasted a good while after I was sober)....but at least my feet were moving in the right direction and they keep going back in that direction. It is the way that has kept me sober this long so far.
