Boy was I unhappy with that. But it was absolutely necessary. My sponsor guided me very sensibly through the steps [4-9]. It's only in retrospect that I see the value of these steps. I used to do a lot of talking about the steps with people who used to talk a lot about the steps, but my sponsor got me into action.
One of the things he said to me, was you don't have to suffer as long as I have, before doing the steps. Wise advice and I was motivated immediately. I cannot quantify the value it has added to my life in these last 25 years. I used to be a lonely fearful, resentful person, harping on my past experiences and how unfair things were for me. With God's help and the fellowship, I have become a confident business person, good father and good husband.
Very rarely have I gone back to my past life and it's depressive lifestyle. If I get into a rut, I use my steps, my sponsor, my group, God and a beautiful prayer called the serenity prayer. It teaches me acceptance, courage and wisdom in a compact prayer, easy to recite and remember, but very powerful.
"Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four."
I don't agree with liquor being a symptom. It's a tool we use in order to gain control of fear and stress. The symptom is the urge to use alcohol (the tool) as a means to control the fear and stress. If there was no alcohol we would have found something else. If we look at the root of the problem it's fear.
Fear is a big one. I know I was riddled with it. Fear is another thing we face in the fourth step. I'd say they sum up the causes and conditions pretty well in the book....
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity,
BB pg 62
Nothing like self-centered fear though. Self-pity was another biggie for me. At the end of my drinking....All I did was isolate and feel sorry for myself. The whole world was wrong....And everyone was against me..That's right where alcohol wants you to be. Hopelessness....I had a plateful of it.
I really related to the part in Bill's Story where he talks about where alcohol took him.....I was there. You can't describe it better than this.
No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.
BB pg 8
-- Edited by Stepchild on Wednesday 15th of January 2014 12:53:05 AM
Those steps...When taken thoroughly...Which means until completion with regard to every detail....Enable us to find a power greater than ourselves that will solve our problem. If you're alcoholic....Our problem is drinking. I can honestly say...Having taken those steps thoroughly....The problem has been removed for me....It doesn't exist....As promised in the book. As long as I remain in fit spiritual condition....Which I do by living the outline laid out in the book....Being steps 10, 11 and 12.
What if you have healed a lot of causes through other means but still drank? Will the 4th step really reveal more?
I'm guessing that by causes you mean other issues that have caused you harm and pain. There is no doubt that these issues agravate alcoholism and can make it worse, but they don't cause alcoholism. You would have been alcoholic even if the bad thing did not happen to you because alcoholism is genetic, not caused by outside events.
These issues often come with us into sobriety and that is why the big book suggests we make good use of the many professionals in these areas who are trained to help us. They can do a much better job when we are sober.
But the alcoholism remains rooted in selfcentredness. There is something wrong with the way we see the world and react to it. Our program allows us to undergo "a profound alteration in our reaction to life" sufficient to enable recovery from alcoholism. We may have other problems, but at least when we are sober, we can have much more hope of dealing with these succesfully, and living a happy and satisfying life.
