I start a new semester in school today. One I will not drop out of because I won't drink or smoke myself into crazy town. My lawyer for something I did last year detoxing is only going to cost 4k (only ya my savings is gone but with out smoking weed/drinking/cigarettes I am saving more that I thought I could) a bar was closed and I broke the window for some reason???? Felony vandalism but we can prove I was out of my mind. I am going today to the doctor to get the std check ok yearly physical but I was bar drinking for a. I had a few drinking "boyfriends" and a few indiscretions this past year. I had the HIV check last month and no I don't have that. I did that first as I found out one person I was with liked to frequent hookers. I made this appointment last week as I figured I'm not relapsing any tie soon might as well see if I need penicilliin. No symptoms but it's my yearly time anyway. Who would have thought I would be excited to be this deep in shit but I am. Everyday I'm sober is a good day and with solutions to my problems. I never thought I would be happy to be at the bottom but it's crawling out with help support and steps that make me happy. I do yoga everyday for an hour walk my dogs eat healthy and am starting step 4. I have hope for the first time in... well ever.
Thank you all for being here. I might not have slept well but I woke up happy and excited to start today. Sober/clean and with hope. Even if it's just hope I will fall asleep at 8pm tonight and wake up tomorrow with more that 6hrs sleep in my system it's hope.
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We all drank and know how to do that. It's living sober that I am learning about.
Only in AA would someone be happy to get the "girl" check. I'm exhausted now. School does that to me. I get so excited I wake up because I can't wait to start the day. Balance is my new focus.
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We all drank and know how to do that. It's living sober that I am learning about.
Good for you for getting started on step four. Into action. I had nights like that. This program was the first thing I had been excited about in a long time. I think that was hope. I know that coming from pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization....Hope was the one thing I needed. I was actually doing something about it. Keep on keeping on Liz.
So happy for you Liz! Nice to read about how The Program is working in someone's life. Hope is a key word. Hold onto that hope. If you don't drink and work The Program great things will materialize. That light at the end of tunnel is not an oncoming train today. It's the light out of darkness.
That's great Liz. I remember the same feeling when I finally realised I had found the solution, and I still have it today. It's called God's grace and if we work our program, we get to keep it. Make hay while the sun shines:)