I have only been able to go too about 3 meetings a week for the past two weeks due to car problems. My car is up and running thank God. I can go to meetings at night again. It's not safe to walk at night where I live. Now that I'm sober I recognize this when I was drinking I didn't care.
You don't know what you have till it's gone and the sun being up is one of them. This spring I can and will walk to the happy hour meetings. Just being around others who are sober and get it is invaluble to my recovery. I found 2 fellowships about a mile from my house because my car is down. It was a mixed blessing.
Now to get a sponcer. The person I was going to ask only has 11months and I'll just say I'm glad I waited. This new fellowship I found has more women attending. I had men offer me there numbers and support but I think a 13th step isn't needed for me to go to meetings. Honestly I wear jeans and a t-shirt I'm not that new to AA. I let the other women wear the skirts and heels. Better for me to hide when they are around.
I want to do my 4th step finding a sponcer is my #1 priority right now. I can't wait another month.
Thanks for being here the time and information from the members of this board are taken seriously.
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We all drank and know how to do that. It's living sober that I am learning about.
There is no reason you can't start working your fourth step without a sponsor Liz. Just to get started. I had done my first three steps before I picked my sponsor...I was about a month sober....Left early out of rehab. I told him I'd done the first three steps and I was ready to start writing....He asked me if I had said the prayer out of the book on my knees. I tod him I had said a prayer something like it...They say the wording is optional. He told me to go home...Say the prayer in the book...On my knees...And to start writing. That's what I did. Point is...I didn't really need him for my fourth step....To answer questions I had...Yes...But I asked the oldtimers questions as well. As far as the actual working of step four....That's something I had to do on my own. You can ask questions here if you have them. At least you can get started that way....I wasn't going to wait around either.
The fifth step...On the other hand....You have to have a sponsor...Or someone to share it with....I recommend a sponsor....And I needed his guidance on steps eight and nine also. But those steps are an inside job....And I could see that nobody was going to move that pen but my Higher Power and I. It's just a thought.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Wednesday 8th of January 2014 11:35:50 PM
Maybe you could ask other women in the group for rides, Liz. Sounds like you really enjoy the meetings and what you are getting from them. I'm glad that you are aware of the 13th Steppers. I am right much older than you and I have had/still have that problem. Such desperate creatures out there.
I know for myself it was important to launch into this thing....I've seen a lot of people balk at step four. They usually aren't around very long. I couldn't let my disease tell me that I couldn't move forward without a sponsor...Or the sponsor I had wasn't good enough...Or whatever excuse I could come up with to delay it. If you look at the directions in the book...The first time they mention getting someone to help us is step five...And that being with step four already completed.
When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. Most people approached in this way will be glad to help; they will be honored by our confidence. BB pg 75
I kinda agree with Stepchild. My sponsor told me early on, "I'm not going to work the 4th step for you, you work it, just like it is in the Big Book, and then when you are done, you share it with me and we'll review it together. If you have any questions, ask and I'll tell you were the answer is in the Big Book."
So, do the work... and before moving on to step 5 find someone you trust enough to share the 4th step with, and do the 5th step with in person. I would suggest that you use someone who has substantial time in the program, or someone in the clergy. I never suggest using a family member or someone you work with.
