Hi
Its been a while since Ive posted. Yesterday a male friend called asking if I would help him to give up the grog. He had seen the alanon pampblets I had sent to his wife so he thougbt he could talk to me. Im aware that its not a good thing long term for male/female. Hopefully Ill get him connected with a male old timer from another town. As he is from a small town hes not ready for meetings here yet. My question is does he need to be carefull how he gives up or is it ok to go cold turkey? He has been a long time (about 30yrs or so) drinker. In the past 4 yrs he has cut back in the volume but still a daily drinker.
Yest I told him not to touch it anymore, not to go anywhere he'll be tempted and to get a good supply of chocolates and softdrinks or whatever will help with the cravings. Hes also going to go and see a doctor about what else he can do. Does this all sound ok or are there other things I can mention to him?
Thanks in advance
It's done; you did the best you could with what you had and adding the feedback from others in recovery will support him further. Does he have a computer and can he reach the MIP AA board to read and ask questions as a part of his search for change? Let him do his own work also cause it's his fix to make. The doctor and hospital and other professionals may know where AA meets at if there is no hotline or central office listed. Good work on stepping up to his wife....that knee jerked him into asking and investigating....sometimes that is how it works and how HP uses the fellowship. ((((hugs))))
Thanks Jerry and BTY:)
Hes never hopped on a computer as far as I can gather which is a shame as I was going to tell him to hop on here with you guys. Yous would've been great for him.
His wife approached me as Ive always been vocal about being involved in alanon and my struggles. To me theres no shame in it. The shame is when you dont get help when its needed
1. Yes, he should talk to his doctor right away and explain that he is a very heavy drinker who is about to stop drinking, and he should follow his doctors instructions. We here in AA are not doctors and we should refrain from giving any kind of medical advice ourselves.
2. Yes, it's great that he can talk to you, and it's even better than he can talk to you and another sober AA member there with you at the same time - you are essentially talking about doing a 12 step call here, and it's a good idea to have a second person with you.
3. Beyond that first talk, all you can do is offer to help get him to his first meetings. But you said he's 'not ready for meetings here yet'. If that's the case, all you can really do is give him some literature and a meeting directory and some encouragement to go to AA, and follow up with a couple of offers in the near future to help take him to a meeting. Doing more beyond that could simply be helping him to avoid doing what he needs to do by letting him rely on you as a replacement for going to AA. We carry the message, we can't carry the alcoholic who isn't ready for AA yet.
