After 4 months of heavy drinking, after relapsing in AA, I am glad that those old timers had kept those doors open. These are the lessons I had learned.

 AA's 12 steps is not an individual program, but rather a program for the individual. I cannot work it my way.

"At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that we deal with alcohol--cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power--that One is God. May you find Him now!"AA book pg 58.

I will die of alcoholism and it would not affect AA as a whole, no matter how much I might dislike it.

I cannot rewrite the AA text. It works if I work it.