As the first day of another New Year starts, I realized that I had all these anticipations and expectations of the first day of the new year. I have let myself down as I am totally exhausted and depressed from something that happened which hurt my feelings and made me feel like a piece of cra*. I haven't done anything I had planned to do today. Just laid around feeling sorry for myself. However, the difference is, I would usually be drinking over this in the past and getting schnockered beyond belief. By this time of day, I would have downed two bottle of wines and several of those tall Yling Ylang beers (or whatever they are, didn't really care what they were as long as they could get me looped) and I would have chain smoked two packs of cigarettes by now, been unable to eat a thing and really been a bee-otch to be around. I am really depressed and all I want to do is continue to lay around and feel self-pity, but I thought that I would post on this board to let newcomers know that it is possible to go through s*** and not have to drink. If I can do it anyone can.
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Wednesday 1st of January 2014 07:07:00 PM
(((BTY))) Happy New Year!! Feeling bad...why'd you choose to do that? (remembering my sponsor right now) Not only did he ask me that and after I thought I had given him the right answer he would ask "So why did you do it that way"? I learned soooo much about myself thru him. Choices...you can change them anytime you want to for any reason and any desired consequence. ((((hugs))))
Darn it Jerry, now I am tearing up....wahhhh wahhhh...what a big baby I am. And looking for sympathy at that, I guess. You are right and guess I needed to hear that, because I forgot that I did choose to feel this way. Thanks for the message and hugs.
Whenever I told my sponsor I was feeling bad about something, he always told me to work the Step that I was on at the time. By doing that, I learned that my actions change me inside.
