Going to meetings.

online is ok , but for me it Has to be Meetings .

if I think I am going to too many meetings I can allways go to two more.

On-line recovery is like on-line sex .... just not quite like the F2F kind.

I didn't get "virtually" drunk and I couldn't get virtually sober.

 

I'm with tomsteve.


All the best.

Bob R

-- Edited by 2granddaughters on Friday 27th of December 2013 08:27:20 AM

This is only a supplement. For this type of AA interchange, "take what you want and leave the rest" may be more important. It is a forum and not a meeting or step group.

Definition of Forum: an occasion or a place for talking about a matter of public interest. - In this case our common interest is AA and staying sober

The is a place I think to learn about each other and to share your experiences with the program and your growth. Maybe it can be a place to learn "about" the program. But that should really be done face to face and with a sponsor. I don't think this should be anybody's primary AA experience. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps with them.

I came to this board when I had 60 days sober and now have 5 years and 60 days. So, I've been a newcomer here and not a not-so newcomer. I got just what I needed and expected here. It is necessarily like an open discussion meeting. Many folks in AA "hate that" and go to step meetings and such just to avoid that vibe. Some folks here start BB threads and step threads and that is great too....we do need folks to steer us back at times to the literature and what is written....if done in a respectful way. It's program of attraction right? Not a program of "You are an idiot if you can't just read some simple instructions in a book." If a person comes here and does that. Well, I think your topic is spot on. They need more face to face meetings and work with their sponsor and actually participating IN AA rather than preaching what they don't have on a message board.

Said member was never "corrected" so much as given other perspectives. All being unanimous that he needed to work on his own crap more than spouting to others. I've gotten those messages at times here too when I was off track. I'm not perfect. When 5 people all tell me the same thing in AA, I usually try to absorb it and listen and see how it applies to me rather than seeking one person to align with me about how those 5 folks that all sent me a message that I didn't like was wrong.

I came to AA to change. Not be argumentative and stay the same. I can take feedback and have. I'm here to grow also... This stuff happens here and if a person can't be amenable to that: Stick with meetings where nobody will ever challenge you cuz cross talk which occurs on this board does not really occur as much in meetings.

pinkchip posted...
"Said member was never "corrected" so much as given other perspectives. All being unanimous that he needed to work on his own crap more than spouting to others. I've gotten those messages at times here too when I was off track."
I am not sure if I am the member you are referring to or not, pc, but since I did mention me and say that I was corrected wanted to "correct" myself for that and say that "suggested to me" would have been a better word to use. Since I think I am pretty good about reading all of the postings and I don't know about any besides the one I posted about this. And hey, while we are on this subject, can you and other moderators see PM's members sent to one another? Not that I am going to ever put anything lasciviously wicked in one of them, would just like to know. (If this has nothing to do with me, please forgive the post and I know it's not supposed to be "all about me" but right now it is, cause I haven't worked the steps that get me to the point where it isn't yet. :)

PMs are private though obviously some folks are copying and pasting them and sharing them with others.

It's also possible this has to do with something I am completely ignorant of that doesn't involve me. In which case, I have made an ass of myself lol. Would not be the first time.

Just Do...What I DO...

If I get a resentment?

I take them out behind the barn...and Shoot Em..

Then?

I forgive them....

Works for Me!!

Could I have all of your addresses..Please?

 

Good one, Alcohater!

"Most strongly we point out that adherence to these principles is not a condition of A.A. membership. Any alcoholic who admits he has a problem is an A.A. member regardless of how much he disagrees with the program. Based upon OUR EXPERIENCE, the whole program is a suggestion only"-Bill Wilson (brought to you by AlcoHater, a real alcoholic who prefers online to face-to-face.)

 

 

 

My former sponsor told me to "Find and use whatever is available to help me gain and maintain my sobriety" and among other things I was first taught when I first found the doors of recovery was, "If you keep and open mind...you will find help". Open mindedness is necessary to learning newer and different approaches to needs what ever it is and so open mindedness is a must for me even when I encounter others with close mindedness.  When I do encounter close mindedness I reflect on the first half of the first step, "We admitted we were powerless..." and then I "let go and let God".  Another of my sponsors cautioned me to "never attempt to limit the power of God", and so for me, which ever way God uses to keep you on the journey and in the hunt for your sobriety it's none of my business because obviously God hasn't tried to contact me for my opinion.   Face to Face meetings and Online forums keep me closer to my sobriety than just one of the other only.   Thanks for letting me share.   (((hugs))) 

Excellent Alcohater - you never fail to amaze me. I just came here to share that I know that for me, I couldn't come here and be here (virtual) only - and stay sober in the beginning. I have always preferred this however. Even though I love the people in the rooms - I have many of the same feelings as BTY. There gets to be a lot of high school popularity contest BS = ego stroking - and gossip. I stay out of it. That means I go to fewer meetings. I wouldn't EVER recommend this (virtual only) to someone who hasn't done the steps - nor would I say that AA is nothing BUT these things. It's just humans in a group together - no different than anywhere. No where is everyone going to be perfect.

This is a small town in up north Wisconsin. I don't think what we have here is anything like the bigger cities... at least I'm hoping not. Not sure what my life would look like today without this supplement.... I've been here since day one. I can guess though.


I'm thinking this recovery family saved my life - and it was part of God's grace to me.

It was coming SS - no surprises for me. You'll be missed while you're gone - and always welcomed back with open arms. The light is always on.

Tomorrow is a fresh start.

justadrunk wrote:

 "This is a small town in up north Wisconsin. I don't think what we have here is anything like the bigger cities... at least I'm hoping not. Not sure what my life would look like today without this supplement.... I've been here since day one. I can guess though."

(Sorry to dash your hopes, jad, but I grew up in a small town and now live in a big city and this reminds me of back home. I go to meetings, do service work as much as possible, am as nice as I can be, and enjoy talking to newcomers and some other people who consistently have shown me they care about me and realize we aren't in grade school anymore.  Maybe this is petty of me but I won't force myself on people I feel don't care for me. And I really do care about everyone in the rooms. I miss people when they stop coming to meetings, no matter what I think they think of me. I would hate for any of them, as well as people on this board who disappear, to start drinking again. However, my ego is pretty fragile right now and I have to protect myself from wanting to drink again.

(jad wrote: "I'm thinking this recovery family saved my life - and it was part of God's grace to me."

(I feel the same....I have on a couple of occasions started to quit going to meetings, started to quit coming here and I know that I would have started drinking again. I have learned to take what I can use and leave the rest. I come to this board and you guys on here have helped open my mind. It is because of you and my HP that I have been able to keep going to meetings. You all have shown me in posts to others, as well as myself, that I have to "be willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober" For me, I am trying to learn that getting over myself and my ego is one of the biggest things I have to do and I have to let go of my fears. I didn't learn this in my meetings I learned it here because like I said, I haven't been able to be open at meetings like I have here and God Bless you all for being upfront with me and caring enough about me to do so.) 

---

 

"But the do it your way approach is the belief of the moderators here"...

I would be a bit curious about where this is coming from? I don't believe its a fair or truthful statement. Is it being suggested that because we don't try to bull dose people into doing what they are not ready or yet willing to do, or doing what we think they should, we have a right and obligation to belittle, devalue or degrade their efforts to find their own path into the rooms and the 12 step recovery process, just as each of us had the ability to do when we became willing and motivated by despairation? Do we hold the right to take the small bit of shining hope they might find here as a part of their "getting ready process", and turn that light out on them by badgering them with our grand ideas about what is right and wrong?

I go to 3-5 mtgs a week f2f. Thats MY preferrence. I went to online mtgs to subliment my recovery during 3 yrs of major surgery's. In fact, thats how MIP got its start. Back, lung and brain surgery back to back, 1999, 2000, 2001. During that 3 yrs. I stayed sober, worked the 12 steps twice , and this forum gave me abundant opportunity to work with other alcoholics, do service work of setting things up, chairing meetings online, ect. I stand solidly in the belief that promoting AA, opposed to making it an attractive proposition without all the ego based grandiousity, is likely to send more people away from AA than encourage them to partake in what AA has to offer. Being willing to meet someone where they are at and letting them have room to grow into the H.O.W. is much more likely to have a lasting impact because they are allowed to make the vital decisions for themselves opposed to being pushed into them through some unspiritual form of degregation and belittlement.

My two cents worth...

John

Yep. Pretty sure I did it the AA way having done the 90 in 90, always doing service, had a sponsor, did the steps. If it was "my way" I guess I could have skipped those thousands of meetings, step work, calling sponsor daily, chairing meetings, being secretary of my home group, general service rep, and going to multiple AA conferences. I guess I could just hang back and lecture folks about the book OR actually do my best to live it. I am FAR from perfect and not the AA poster boy but I did NOT do this willie nilly and "my own way." Far from it. It's offensive to suggest that as AA has been the saving grace of my life and I don't think I have ever put as much energy into anything else in my life. That is the view of this moderator thank you very much.