I know I haven't been a regular on here of late.
Indulge me. I find I can write stuff on here and as I write stuff gets reorganised and right sized. It hrlps me prepare for talking to others both within and outwith the fellowship.
I have had far too much going on the past couple months.
House renovations, work issues, family problems, relationship difficulties
Any one on their own is do able. Two get hard. Three get really hard. Four leads to meltdown.
What's the common denominator? Yep me. And I take on more responsibility than I should.
I feel responsible for others thoughts feelings actions and happiness.
So I'm going to stop look.listen and think.
One of the slogans is think.think.think. three times only. The first thought is gut reaction. The second thought is emotionally driven (heartfelt) the third is the true thought is the one from information facts and reality.
If you go to a fourth thought. ...you're probably thinking too much.
If in doubt. Do nowt.
This s me talking it out to myself. Me and sponsor will meet tonight. Me and sponsee will meet tonight. Me and beloved baldy brother rico will meet tonight. All in the same place for hugs and frllowship.
In a few days time I have a meeting with a counsellor and with separately hr and management and my team together and individually.
But all that isn't happening today so I'll try to live in today and smile. (At least find peace)
So now it's time to make mum's breakfast.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I know the feeling BB, ... my wife and I just moved recently ... The activities and responsibilities have been enormous ... I started to fall back into my old ways ... you know, thinking that everything was a problem, and becoming more 'negative' as the days went on ... getting back to this site has been a blessing to me ... it gives me the opportunity to get my priorities back in order ...
There has been so much to get done lately, it seemed humanly impossible to make any headway ... I started feeling that, "What's the use?" sensation coming on ... and yes, without my meetings and regular prayer and meditation routines, I actually did start thinking of having a drink ... then the thought occurred to me, play the 'tape' back of times past, and see where they took me ... not pretty ... so ... ... ... here I sit on Christmas morning, sober and working the site here ... HA! ... NO 'hang-over' ... Ain't life grand ???
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I remember going at too many things manic-ally till I crashed, then was dysfunctional till I rested. Half of the stuff gets thrust upon you and the other half I took on. Somehow I survived. Now, it seems, I try to keep my mouth shut, not offer to help and remember "No good deed goes unpunished".
Love this post Bill because it reminds me of what it use to be like for me and includes the promise of a relapse if I decide I need to "try that one again". One of the slogans that keep me confident and smiling is "No is a complete sentence" and I can do No real well now.
