I am still sober and going to meetings. until this time around I didn't understand what it meant to "work" the program in my life. Now I get it. There are things the big book says to do daily. I also understand I can't stay sober without AA.
When I was drinking everything seemed so big or like it had to be big. Every drunk was like a rockstar party even if we just sat around a table doing blow and drinking. It was big in our little minds. My plans were big I was gonna write a book because I had so much to say and share. No ego there right. I thought these things all making me and my life big we're happiness. What I'm realizing is the little things are what makes my life big. That feeling of being whole and connected to a higher power is huge. In the moments when I have that the universe is one and it's all within me.
I'm getting more and more of this daily with reading the big book going to meetings and working a program as the big book tells me to. I know I have just started to recover and challenges will arise but I have meetings and people who have gone through this and I'm sure anything that will come up to support and guide me.
Just for today means a lot more than not drinking it means I have hope.
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We all drank and know how to do that. It's living sober that I am learning about.
Wow Liz, ... sounds like you've made a lot of progress in a short period of time ... of course you know by now, there's much more to come ... true 'peace and serenity' are just around the corner for you if you 'stay the course' ... I think we all have our 'pink cloud' moments and then, of course, we get tested to see if we are truly 'living' the program ...
Keep up the good work ... and I'll see you at the top ....
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi Liz, It sounds like you're definitely getting on the right track there. It takes most of us a significant amount of time to finally figure out that A.A. actually consists of a 12 Step Program that requires actions which we must take in order to gain happy sobriety. While, at first, lots of us are under the mistaken impression that A.A. is merely the meetings we attend (the Fellowship), sooner or later, we finally understand that we must work the Steps. Sounds like you figured it out sooner, rather than later. That is going to make a huge difference for you. Trust us.....the "Promises" do actually come true, if we do the work. Blessings, Mike D.
I have to ask you Liz...Have you found a sponsor to guide you through the steps?....It really makes a difference. I'd also like to say it makes me happy to hear you are reading the book...That's our manual for a new life.
Ii do a temporary one I asked some one who has two years and told her it would be temporary.
I'm having an ego problem with two chapters. To the wives and To the employers. I guess I have to eat it and find the message for me.
My first meeting I made myself do an ego list. I wrote down all the stuff I was thinking that might take me out again like "I'm too smart for these people" or "I'm too fat right now I should lose weight, she's skinnier (I'm 125 at 5 foot 3 crazy excuse right) etc... I'm doing this now when these thoughts pop up its crazy thinking when you read it out loud.
Today I was at a meeting and realized I wasn't thinking about what I was gonna share when called on. Another rule no thinking while others are sharing I may miss some good stuff.
My Mom was drinking while pregnant and breast feeding I was born an alcholic I believe. It's physically on my DNA and will not change this is a realization I have had after talking with her. I'm lucky I have no other side effects and have all my fingers and toes knowing what we know now about alcohol and pregnancy.
Now what to do at night after my yoga.... I think I want to start making jewlry. I will make friends people are coming up after meetings but that comes with time. I don't want to chase a piece of a## or make friends with soul suckers but I'm open. Women's meetings this week is all about women's meetings for me.
Thank you for being here.
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We all drank and know how to do that. It's living sober that I am learning about.
Don't worry about those chapters too much for now...The directions are in The Doctor's Opinion and the first 103 pages....That's the meat and potatoes you should be studying...A tempory sponsor is good Maybe it will work out. Does she have what you want?....Quality sobriety...Has she had a spritual awakening as a result of the steps...That's KEY. That's a good rule about listening rather than thinking for now...And...For what it's worth...I think I was born alcoholic too...If you shook my family tree and all the alcoholics fell out...There'd be nothing left but the stump.
Aloha LizM and good to see you hanging in there. One of the things that helped me a lot during "idle" time was reading literature. Recovery literature. I never got enough of it and still love to do it. I listened to and watched tapes from those who had been where we had been and came away from it more alive. Keep on keeping on girl. Keep coming back also. ((((hugs))))
