How much is too much to share on boards like this and with other AA'ers.? I don't have any friends outside AA, and even if I did, I wouldn't share names of other AA'ers. If something happened to me directly which involved another member at a meeting place either before or after the meeting and bothered me can I discuss this with another member? The phrase in the rooms is "what we hear here, stays here." Does that mean if someone comes across in a threatening manner in a share and I am scared to attend this meeting place I love otherwise that I have to keep it to myself? Is this something I cannot talk with my sponsor about even if I don't use name(s)? If there is a topic that is interesting and helpful to me does it mean that I cannot share it with other members who didn't attend the meeting? Just curious. Sometimes, I hear people in AA discussing other members and personal things which I would never think of divulging. That's them though. I understand anonymous and want to respect the people attending the meetings privacy and just don't want to do anything wrong. Someone said that we shouldn't divulge anything at all that was discussed in our meetings and that this is gossip. I have been to quite a few meetings and heard shares from people about things that happened in other meetings and am confused. Thanks for your help.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Your question ...Does that mean if someone comes across in a threatening manner in a share and I am scared to attend this meeting place I love otherwise that I have to keep it to myself? Is this something I cannot talk with my sponsor about even if I don't use name(s)?
If there is an individual that comes across in a threatening manner, I would talk to my sponsor, the conversations you have with a sponsor come under the situation of the teacher teaching the student type scenario, the way I look at it ... and of course, this is confidential ... and if the situation calls for it, then you may need to go to the next 'Group Conscience' meeting and bring the issue up for discussion ... The group conscience can take actions to put this issue to bed, so to speak ...
If your sponsor attends this same meeting, then it is likely you won't have to mention a name, she'll know by the actions you describe this person is exhibiting ... without knowing more specifics, I am at a loss to guide you much further than this ... if you feel a more private discussion on this topic, feel free to PM me or others you trust here ... we're happy to share our experience ... I mean, if it's personal and you don't care for the whole world to know all this stuff ... ... ... I'm sure Tasha & others here would welcome your PM's too if it's a woman's type situation ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Page 125:
"We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others' alcoholic troubles. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.
Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect. Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap."
I always keep in mind "Our stories disclose in a general way...." It is unwise, to say the least, to go into great personal detail in a meeting. These days we regularly break the anonymity tradition by maintaining anonymity at levels other than press, radio, films and TV. In otherwords, we are often anonymous to each other. You have no idea who is listening to your sharing or why they are in an AA meeting. Always keep in depth sharing for you carefully selected sponsor or other person whom you know you can have confidence in.
Likewise, the meetings are a learning forum and if there is something you don't quite understand, raise it with your sponsor or someone you respect. Often there is no need to mention names as it is the principle we are trying to grasp
Read the big book and 12 & 12. It has been quoted above and has great solid commentary.
As far as threatening behavior, I would absolutely talk about it. If necessary police have came to AA meetings. Threats are illegal. AA is subject to the laws of the land and common sense.
We normally hang outside under a covered picnic table area and chat after the meeting. Often talk about the meeting. In time, I thin we know more about some people than we want to!
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"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
