Hey BF...I think you have a ton of good resources here that would be willing to help you out...Matter of fact...Like meetings...I'm amazed more newcomers don't take advantage of it. It seems....Like meetings...We talk just about everything but the book and the steps. I don't think anything carries the message of AA better than that book. The foreward of the book starts out with this...
We, OF Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED is the main purpose of this book.
That tells me this is a text book with directions in it. It should be studied like that.
It also tells me....Like Tom mentioned.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
pg 58
What does "willing to go to any length" mean to you?....Sounds like you already want to do this your way.....To me it meant....Admitting my way didn't work. Sucking it up and asking someone to help me...Face to face. I don't trust alkies BF...I am one. I'd want to see your eyes...See you at meetings.....See what length you were willing to go to. That's what my sponsor expected from me. That's what worked.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Sunday 24th of November 2013 07:52:17 PM
We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy
-- Edited by tomsteve on Sunday 24th of November 2013 09:13:47 PM
@ PythonPappy-I'll try to explain this without sounding too much like the technologically challenged troglodyte that I am. Skype is a web service that basically turns your computer into a web-based videophone.
-- Edited by AlcoHater on Sunday 24th of November 2013 09:23:35 PM
-- Edited by AlcoHater on Sunday 24th of November 2013 09:24:11 PM
I am a very private person who values his personal space. In the past I have had problems with the in-person demands of real world sponsors. They've been wonderful people with the best intentions but I've always found myself pulling away when beginning to get close to them. It's my hope that someone here could walk me through the steps while allowing me to keep my self sabotaging from getting in tue way. I'm willing to be honest and follow through with whatever is asked of me. from my experience most of the "work" is done in writing so I see no reason why this can't be done via email. All I ask is that we both respect one another's anonymity and not discuss anything on mip.
I await the flood of excited replies :)
Seriously though, all kidding aside...I would be very greatful for the help.
no one can stop you from self sabotage except you.
getting an online sponsor is, IMO, a copout and a way keep from facing the truths about oneself and saying you are wil;ling to be honest and follow through with whatever is asked of you by someone online, yet have a problem with in person demands tells me yer not willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
I first wanted to say,,you animals below look Mahhhvelous tonite!! And I also am here for questions or replys but agree FACE TO FACE relations are most productive for recovery and also suggest not letting
anything take you from doing whatever it takes to remain free from active using, One day at a time...
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Okay, well I guess I'm on my own. That's okay. I'm sure there are online resources to walk me through doing the steps. I thought it might be better if an actual person was giving me some guidance but meh, whatever. I can make do with what I've got. I do appreciate the advice though and will be posting here A LOT.
I'd love to try and be your 'online' sponsor BF, but as I've said before ... I'm in the middle of moving and our closing date for this house is next week as is the closing for the house we're moving to ... for a brief moment in time, I've had plenty of time to be here for the last few days, but I'll be without internet service shortly and may not have it back again for at least a few days ...
I've had a couple sponsees online that worked out great, and also a couple that fizzled out all together ... AND I agree with the others above, F2F meetings are THE most effective way to go about recovery ... Like Stepman said seeing a person eyes and body language speak louder than words ... it's easier for us to call someone's bluff and see the sincerity or lack thereof ...
But if I weren't heading into the Lions Den for a couple weeks, I'd give it a shot ... If you still feel you want to go this route in a few weeks, yeah, I'll volunteer to help ...
If you're willing, I'm willing ...
Just don't drink and read the BB front to back for now, more than once if at all possible ... 1st assignment ... ... ... Memorize Chapter 5, ... LOL ... and don't think I'm kidding all that much either ... ... ...
Love ya man and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
In the past I have had problems with the in-person demands of real world sponsors. They've been wonderful people with the best intentions but I've always found myself pulling away when beginning to get close to them.
Look at your reason for not wanting a f2f sponsor? That tells me your hiding something....Or holding on to your old ideas.....Or it's just plain fear....Whatever it is...It's not willing to go to any length. I wish you well...Be more than happy to help you out.....But I'm not going to put my time into it.
OOOOh, that's what they call that thing-a-ma-bob ... ... ... Doubt I could handle that, LOL ... I might have to go put clothes on or sompin ... ... ... (just kidding)
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I'm not opposed to online sponsorship if there is no other way. Like you're living in the hospital - or you live in an igloo - or your 99 and you can't see, hear or drive to meetings... or live in the jungle.... etc etc :)
I have attended online meetings where everyone is just a little floating bubble on a screen, but you see the people in real time and hear their shares via technology. There were actually many folks who were sick in bed... or communicating from hospitals or whatever. I used it when our sitters got whooping cough and I didn't have anyone to watch the kids for a couple months because my hubby was working the fields at the same time - morning til night - it's a farmer thing. It really made me realize how important it was to be there for those who suffer - in many ways - other than from alcoholism. And it also opened my eyes to what going to any lengths really looks like. I thought I was so awesome cuz I was forking out tons of babysitting and gas money and driving 100's of miles per week... and that was NOTHING compared to the people I saw with no legs - or with cancer - or whatever... doing this thing.
The people I have taken through the steps remotely got asked every week if they were able to find a live sponsor yet. And they eventually all did... because we help each other make the best possible choices for ourselves - to give ourselves the best possible chance at this thing!
Once I was physically capable to get back to meetings - I did too. There is no substitute for a live hug and the buzz in the room... but at least we don't just have to shrivel up and die if there truly is no way to get F2F! Where ever 2 people meet, and now I ad however - as long as they have a BB in hand - there can be recovery. I needed so badly to break out of the isolation I didn't even realize I was in as a stay at home mom and music teacher from home. But I had it good.
In the future - more and more will be online, video talking on our phones will become more popular, and connecting with people all over the world will be our reality. I had sponsee's from all over the world in remote locations. These were people who paid for calling cards and were truly willing to go to ANY lengths like they did in the beginning. Part of me would love to pack up and start some meetings around the world where they are lacking. Maybe when the kids are older I just might do that! But - by then, technology will be so different and it's already so helpful. Even though on this site - we are behind the times a tad, I remain loyal to this family - my home group away from home group - because I came here first, and I'm dedicated to sticking with the people who opened my eyes and saved my life here on this board - you all know who you are :) xxxx
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
I'm not opposed to online sponsorship if there is no other way. Like you're living in the hospital - or you live in an igloo - or your 99 and you can't see, hear or drive to meetings... or live in the jungle.... etc etc :)
Even though on this site - we are behind the times a tad, I remain loyal to this family - my home group away from home group- because I came here first, and I'm dedicated to sticking with the people who opened my eyes and saved my life here on this board - you all know who you are :) xxxx
I love the way you put that Tasha ... ... ... great post too ... ... ... this is my 'Home Group' away from my Home Group too ... ... ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Can I ask, how long have you been sober now? I would be willing to sponsor you online with a few conditions, and one of them would be that you obtain a f2f sponsor in a specific period of time. Would you be willing to commit to doing this? We can discuss the time frame later, but to start with I would like to know you have the willingness. Another thing I would require is at least 1 hour a week of telephone time, where we are actually talking to eachother. Can you commit to this?
If you truly believe you have the willingness and the ability to follow through, I have the willingness to sponsor you through the 12 steps.
Ya know, ... I hate to admit you were right Dean, dag gummit, ... but it looks like you were ... I do hope he returns for his own sake ... just hope he becomes 'willing' before he becomes dead ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
