Since I am still a newbie I was wondering when it is a good time to find a sponsor? Their is a women at my meetings that has been sober for 20 years and she has so much wisdom. I'm not sure how to ask or even how it works?
I would say the sooner the better...The solution is the steps....That's where we recover. A sponsor is there to guide you through this process. If you like what this lady has...Walk up to her and ask her this one simple question...Would you be willing to take me through the steps as they are laid out in the book?...Let your HP handle the rest.
Great question debird, ... As soon as you realize you need help, then's the time to ask ... It's as simple as saying to someone you wish to help you "Would you consider being my sponsor through this?" ... you can use the term 'temporary sponsor' if it makes you feel better ... cause we are signing no long term contract, so we're not bound to this person forever ... and sometimes, change is good down the road and we need to move to a different sponsor to help continue our growth in the program ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Great posts...
I took several months because I couldn't turn off the little stupid voices in my head telling me I didn't need one. Listen to the words of wisdom above and you can't go wrong. Good for you for posting and asking for help with such an important part of staying sober!!!
Not sure how many days sober you have, congratulations for each and every one of them Marie!
When I first realized that I wanted what they had I asked the question I had very rarely asked in my past, "Can you help me"? I asked tons of fellowship members and each time I got help. One day I decided to stop bouncing off a lot of people and go to the one I listened to the most and they became my sponsor and then they fired me and pointed me in the direction of another person and he lasted the longest...I still have him with me though he passed on a couple years ago...He was generous and also told me to find others to help me gain and maintain my sobriety when he wasn't available and I then used the "Can you help me"? question again when needed. Sponsors are guides and eventually you become a guide as you gain and maintain your sobriety. Sponsoring for me is the 12th step in practice...sometimes you even save another alcoholics life, job, family, sanity etc. Keep coming back
Good experience and wisdom above. I would say now is the time if you have someone in mind that has what you want. I dragged my feet because the guy I wanted to ask had a boatload of Sponsee's and fear held me back. Fear that he would say he was too busy. When the pain outweighed the fear, I asked him thinking he was going to give me the name of one of his Sponsee's. Wrong again. He didn't, he took me on and through The Steps. He made more time for me than I did for him. The guy has the best phone etiquette I've experienced in AA. He always answers his phone. I want to be like that, but I'm not there yet. Progress not perfection. I was also told early on, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. It looks like the student is ready!
When I came to AA I was told that I could ask anyone I wanted to be my sponsor.
I looked around all the oldtimers and found one with more sobriety, sanity, serenity and self-worth than I could ever expect to have ... and I asked him.
He said "Yes" and began to teach and guide me toward all that he had been given ... and I began to get it.
Choose a person to be your sponsor that has more than you could ever hope for, something you really WANT. You WILL get it..... and more!
