I agree I should say anything , I just think back to when she used to hold it over my head , but I can be the bigger person not to say anything, in the end I think she will respect me more for it.
I am very new, and congrats on 6 months, but this sounds like you are still holding on to a resentment, and from what I have learned, that can lead you back to the drink. Let it go, let her talk about it if she wants to and see how things play out. Happy Birthday, sorry your fiance probably won't be feeling to good to enjoy it with you, but at least YOU will.
D
-- Edited by d_willing on Friday 15th of November 2013 09:43:06 PM
Hello everyone, I needed to get this off my chest so I figured I'd come to this board to see what people say.
So my fiancé whom never drinks or should I more say rarely drinks, owns a store , today I came to the store because normally we spend most nights together, and her and the girl she works with where partying at work. She and her friend finished off a bottle of rum between the two of them. She normally pushes me away from drinking she was trying to get me to drink as well, which is out of her character. I declined the drink of course because I knew I would have to drive home and also pick up her kids from the baby sitter. Its my birthday tommrow and I'm wondering if that had something to do with it. I've been alcohol free now for six months.
so I had to deal with her being extremely drunk which is the first time I really had to deal with a person in this situation before. She threw up in the car. I drove her home then picked up the kids, Shes thrown up quite a few more times now, now shes sleeping, I told this kids shes not feeling well at all and to leave her alone, I don't want them to see her in this state.
To be honest i'm extremely surprised to see her in this situation. Especially since she never drinks. I don't know how to feel about it to be honest. I know its wrong that she got drunk at the store to the point where she can't function but at the same time I feel for her. I'm just trying to figure out how the converstation is going to go tommrow.
Any feedback would be appreciated. keep in mind shes usually a person that when she goes out says she has had enough. Plus because of her religion it forbids drinking.
Also shes sleeping on her stomach in a fetal position I think if she throws up again she wont suffocate. She has a bucket and a cup of water beside her, I keep checking on her every 20 mins.
I guess it gives you a good shot of what she's had to deal with you in the past. That's a lot of rum for someone that rarely drinks....Maybe she just doesn't drink around you. I wouldn't worry about the conversation...Let her field that one. Just take care of your own sobriety...Speaking of which....What are you doing for your sobriety these days? Are you working the steps with a sponsor? And Happy Birthday!
Shes always around me I know exactly how much she drinks which is usually nothing. If we go out to a club she'll have two drinks and i'll have none. Its out of character and to see her at this point of intoxication is very odd and out of character. I'm happy I was there to step up and avoid temptation. I want to talk to her about it. She used to give me shit if I had one beer before work. I don't want to hold it over her head, I want to be the bigger person in the situation. She was drinking with her friend how is Cuban so I can see her being pressured to drink more. And we all know when the drink takes the drink.
Good for you that you have been sober for six months. Since this is not a recurring thing I would be tempted to let it go and not make a big deal of it. I would ask how she is feeling tomorrow morning (probably like crap). Possibly the experience of being so sick from the drinking will prevent it from happening again. Happy early birthday and I hope it is a great one!
I agree I should say anything , I just think back to when she used to hold it over my head , but I can be the bigger person not to say anything, in the end I think she will respect me more for it.
Doesn't matter a bit if SHE respects you more, it just matters if YOU respect YOU more. You're in an area big enough where they should have some pretty good CODA meetings.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Having said all that...go check on her and if she is still out, fetal, vomiting or not...call 911 and get the professionals over. You're not a professional and if she has done a half pint even of rum...she is a woman and not built like you...she will not process like you. Get her some real help and talk about it later.
Hang in there, mandm. You'll get over this hurdle, I just know it.
As far as your lady friend goes, well, she's obviously 'not' in the right frame of mind. So I wouldn't get two overworked over this 'one' incident. If a pattern emerges, then you know what to do.
You've worn those shoes before ... her religious convictions were of no help ... forgiveness is the 'order of the day' because without that, you cannot expect the same in return ... this is where faith, hope, and love come into play ... live the AA program and you'll survive this with the peace and serenity you seek ... she will see this in you and seek the same .... if not ??? ... maybe it wasn't God's will ... !!!
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Cunning, Powerful and Baffling chemical which has left me with future possibilities should I consider them and with the use of our program I no longer have to consider on a daily basis. It can take away your desire to live and hand you the tool to end your life all in the same movement. "....The alcoholic has but three choices...sobriety, insanity or death". ...from my very early lessons. Thank you God and AA.
