Hi Christian, ... Hell of a way to start the day, huh ???
Blackouts became the 'norm' for me ... couldn't remember anything of the night, sometimes even days, before that morning ... when I got back to AA, my sponsor told me you have a decision to make and YOU are the only one that gets to make it ... Are you go'n to go YOUR 'way of life' or are you go'n to go OUR 'way of life' ??? ... ... ...
I said, I DON'T WANT to do either one ... ... ... He said I didn't ask you what you WANTED to do, I asked what you are GOING to do !!! ... ... ... you see?, we do have a choice and we do have plenty of friends in AA willing to help us do what they did to get and stay sober, IF we follow a few simple suggestions ... ... ... your choice man ... don't let King Alcohol call the shots, take your life back and start calling the shots for yourself ... you do not have to 'embrace the pain' of physical and mental melt-down ... alcoholism always gets worse, never better ...
We had to let go of our 'old way of thinking' and embrace a totally 'new way of thinking' ... wasn't easy at times, but we did it and we got better ... we don't feel it necessary to have to have a drink in order for life to be complete now ... life is so much better than most of us could have ever dreamed it would be when we put the bottle down ... ... ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hi Marie, welcome to MIP. My boat was built in Falmouth which would not be far from you.
One of the first things we need to do on this journey is work out exactly what the problem is. If we don't know that, how can we go about fixing it?
The AA Big Book has some great material in the Doctor's Opinion and the first four chapters that really help you to diagnose the problem, and illustrates the AA program of recovery. If you don't have a Big Book, you could start by asking your self this simple question:
Can I, when I honestly want to, stop drinking for good, or, if, when I start drinking, can I guarantee every time how much I am going to drink?
The answer to that question will give you a good idea the nature of your problem.
God bless, MikeH.
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Tuesday 5th of November 2013 05:15:19 PM
Good Morning,
I am so glad you came to this board. I have made coming here on a daily basis a part of my life as well as going to AA meetings--which I did the 90 meetings in 90 days and still go everyday. I love hearing how people like Pappy, Zoomtopz, stepchild, justadrunk, and others tell their stories about how they are staying sober. My life was so screwed up and like you, I was having blackouts and that is really scarey stuff. Working with a hangover and even trying to function on a daily basis was very difficult as well. Now that I have been sober for awhile, my life is changing and I am so much happier. No more drunken days and nights, no more blackouts, no more hangovers. Life is getting better and better. I wish you the best and hope to hear more from you on how you are doing. You will have a lot of support here and eventually you can let others know how you are staying sober, too and that feels really good knowing we have the capability to change someone else's life by our sobriety.
I also am a newbie. I have not drank in 16 days so it is very new to me. I woke up 2 weeks ago and said today is the day that I'm going to stop this S--t. I did not think I could do it but I am in a meeting every morning at 6:30am before work something that I never thought I could do. I find myself now looking forward to starting my day at that meeting. It is good start to my day. It reminds me why I'm doing this.
I still am having a hard time sleeping and the cravings are very hard but I am thinking clearer today and I am feeling a new determination to be healthy in mind and body. I'm dealing with my God issues but I'm beginning to think that maybe my way of thinking was wrong. Someone said to me at a meeting the other day. God doesn't always give you what you want but if you listen he will give you what you needwhat you need. I'm finding myself listening a little closer.
Good Luck. The people on this board and at my meeting are saving my life one day at a time.
Good for you Marie...Everyday you don't pick up that first drink...Things will get better. A little more sleep...A little less cravings....Keep moving forward Marie...One day at a time. Just don't pick up that first drink today....And keep listening...You might hear what you need to hear.
Aloha Christian and welcome to the board from a couple of ponds away. You don't have to feel the way you are feeling physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually...You don't have to feel sick of it and yourself. You're going thru the allergy we often speak of which is what happens to us after we loose all power over alcohol and how much and how often we get together with it. Drinking for me was normal...I was born and raised in the disease and drinking in my family rarely refered to water, soft drinks or juices. Drinking was alcohol and it was normal and yes I've had blackouts without knowing that it had anything to do with alcohol. I've gone past black outs into toxic shock overdoses where my body inspite of my intentions has shut me off...those are near death events and still at my last one I continued to drink with the maybe thought "maybe it had something to do with my drinking". When I finally stopped my normal skin color was yellowish/green...a urine color because that is how my body had to figure out what to do with the load of alcohol I put it under. I rarely got very drunk or fell down so I couldn't be a problem drinker. I was using the wrong measuring stick and didn't know there was such a thing...education; finding out as much as I could about the chemical, my family/personal history with it and how I was made up as a human being. I am chemically tolerant and that's not a good thing as an alcoholic...it is what led to the toxic shock events without fore warning. Alcoholism is a fatal disease...now I know...more. I've had the bad morning feelings and the showing up at work with different socks on and even different socks and different shoes and it was still not a fore boding problem. To me it was never "killing" me. I didn't relate to having my skin color change to a normal tan 5 years after I stopped drinking...that was an Ah Ha!! I've never discovered all of the damage I've done to my self. I have discovered much of the damage I've done to others. Today I am sober...I lived my life with purpose and intention and with good and acceptable consequences in mind. I lived it with other management rather than trying to manage it only by myself, AA is part of my management system today as is having a power greater than myself and a sponsor and fellowship to hang with me.
Don't worry about talking about your drinking here...We've been there and done that and will also tell you how we went thru it so that you know you're not alone and you don't ever have to drink like that again.
Hi, thanks for great comments.
Well I lasted 3 day's then I crumbled last night and got very drunk. Don't even want to check my wallet to see how much I wasted.
It's having an effect on my studying for my law degree. I was so positive for those 3 days then bam, ruined it.
Think finding out my nearest aa meeting is a good start.
I don't believe in God so how will people react in the meeting's?
I'll try my best to keep logging in here and chatting to you lovely people.
Hi Newquaylad, Don't worry about the God thing. There are a set of traditions in AA, and the third one states "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". Just check out some meetings and bring an open mind so you give yourself a good chance of finding out how these other people who have been staying sober can help you do the same.
Yes, there is talk about God in the literature and in the meetings, and AA is a 'spiritual' program', but in AA that has a MUCH wider meaning than you will find in any other place that talks about God or spirituality. The basic idea is that we need to be honest with ourselves about the fact that we can't control and enjoy our drinking like other people, and we can't reliably use our own will power to resolve our problem. (If we could, we wouldn't have a problem in the first place, would we?). So we need to find something - anything - that is a power greater than our own self will that can be used to help us. Something saner and healthier than the crazy alcoholic ideas that fill our head and lie to us about whether we can successfully drink or not. That COULD be a belief in God as defined by a particular religion, but it can be lots of other things too. It can be a basic set of down-to-earth 'spiritual principles' like honesty, open mindedness and willingness. It can even just be the AA group, at least for a start. You will find that the hoop you need to jump through is much bigger than you might think. Just for the record I've been a sober member of AA for many years and I have found everything that I need in AA to help me stay sober and happy and I don't have any particular belief in a specific supernatural deity. Just give it a shot and come back here and tell us how it went.
Hi Christian,
That is great that you went without a drink for 3 days! Pat yourself on the back for that and know that you can do it! I have relapsed and it has taken me a lot longer than a day afterwards to realize I really liked being sober instead of drunk, wasted, hungover, and was determined to stop drinking again.
I'm so glad you came back and posted and look forward to hearing about the meeting you attend, if you care to share. (And good for you that you are going to be a lawyer....I could have used a good one when I got my DUI awhile back.)
((((hugs)))))
Many of us had little or no belief in God at the beginning and it doesn't appear to be much of an obstacle. Keep an open mind, that's the main thing with AA. The second step in AA talks about a power greater than ourselves. It's not so hard to swallow that there might be something along those lines around, afterall isn't, alcohol a greater power than you?
Hi, thanks for great comments. Well I lasted 3 day's then I crumbled last night and got very drunk. Don't even want to check my wallet to see how much I wasted. It's having an effect on my studying for my law degree. I was so positive for those 3 days then bam, ruined it. Think finding out my nearest aa meeting is a good start. I don't believe in God so how will people react in the meeting's? I'll try my best to keep logging in here and chatting to you lovely people.
Thanks so much for messages.
Have a good day.
Christian
There's a guy in our AA group that feels the same as you about the 'God' idea ... he says he see the AA group as his Higher Power ...
You know G.O.D. = Group Of Drunks ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
