This morning, I am really internalizing the extent to which alcohol has at times made me an unpleasant person. I have been playing out past behavior in my head and realizing that even being *around* alcohol has made me feel the compulsion to lie, to sneak, and be a really negative person. Being around alcohol makes me afraid, it makes me irritable, it makes me resentful, and it makes me judgmental. AA seems to be the exact opposite to the effect of alcohol: it is a system that encourages facing yourself, telling the truth, and connecting with people and a Higher Power through compassion, trust, and love.
I know you all already know this, but for me typing it out provides great clarity and processing :)
This weekend I had a mini revelation about the fifth step. The long and short of is it that the darkness or whatever you call what alcohol does to us is no longer powerful in the light of truth and honesty. That's why (for me at least) so many years were spent drinking: because it was shameful and became a secret, and the power in the lies just continued to grow until it became normal, baseline behavior. As an antidote, admitting the exact nature of our wrongs blows open the whole mess and allows light to just pour in (metaphorically speaking, anyway). And I think we all end up being better people for it because when there is no longer anything to hide, for me at least, I feel absolved and able to move on. Anyway, apologies if this seems random. I'm just processing a lot of ideas!
Best,
A
-- Edited by AdamMoz on Monday 7th of October 2013 09:59:17 AM
__________________
When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
I was watching this motivational speaker talking about smoking pot, he said people will go up to him and say "Come on weeds not that bad" his response was perfect, what has weed done for you lately? I think thats the perfect response.
Alcohol doesn't do anything good for you or too you period, being sober is the only way.
This weekend I had a mini revelation about the fifth step. The long and short of is it that the darkness or whatever you call what alcohol does to us is no longer powerful in the light of truth and honesty. That's why (for me at least) so many years were spent drinking: because it was shameful and became a secret, and the power in the lies just continued to grow until it became normal, baseline behavior. As an antidote, admitting the exact nature of our wrongs blows open the whole mess and allows light to just pour in (metaphorically speaking, anyway). And I think we all end up being better people for it because when there is no longer anything to hide, for me at least, I feel absolved and able to move on. Anyway, apologies if this seems random. I'm just processing a lot of ideas!
Doesn't seem random at all...Matter of fact...It sounds a lot like the fifth step promises...
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
