Can I ask - how much experience have you had so far with working the 12 steps, and do you have a sponsor who has had experience working them, and has your sponsor had specific experience with step 9? I ask this not to pry, but the answer to your question can be very different depending on what your experience is with the steps and with a sponsor.

The feedback on time in recovery and sponsorship  and what Gonee suggested is strong.  I'd look at it and discuss it with a sponsor and then do the very best you can with what you have.  Trust your Higher Power with the awareness of what you want to do and your intentions.  You will not be the only one involved.  When I made mine with my ailing mother and my step father it happened over a long period of time and though there were spoken apologies there was also changed behaviors on my part which are the amends.   Program gave them the son they wanted in the first place and I was most grateful of us all.  Might a change of perspective work also?  They weren't disowning you...they were disowning the disease and its manifistations.  Keep coming back.   

I know that feeling all too well. It was 4 years ago this march that I encountered my first real amends test, I called it 'my last resort'. My father, at the time, had just suffered a massive stroke and would probably die within a month's time.

Now, for those who don't know; the history between my father and I goes way back. I mean, back to when I was a teenager. So it was hard for me to make this amends. But I did, and it didn't go over that well.

Anyway, it's been over four years now and I still have a hard time dealing with what happened. That was until I read step 9 in its entirety. After that, I realized the importance of re-connecting: It was my way of closing the door on our past.

Basically: It's the amends itself that allows us to feel forgiven, despite the expectations, and from that point on I haven't regretted the decision one iota. I finally understood the difference between acceptance and humility, and that allowed me to make the other amends that much easier. It was my first real breakthrough in a very long time. Which brings me to my next topic: Good fortune. 

I recently had the pleasure of reconnecting with an old friend, much to our surprise. What originally started out to be a one minute conversation turned into a day's long event. And through what outlet you ask: Facebook. Yes, I finally graduated from the days of snail mail to the more conventional 'chat' forums, and much to my chagrin, it works. It was my way of 'poking' around the internet without any serious consequences.

Anyway, I still wonder what my father went through as we were growing up. He had his own set of issues, which I believed lead to us falling apart. It created a void that no amount of human decency could ever cover up. So on a whim, I flew out to New York and made the amends before he died. It was the best decision I ever made. It made me realize the importance of reconnecting and how our lives evolve from there.  Basically: It was my way of bringing some much needed closure to this once volatile situation. And I hope yours has a happy ending as well.

Onward.  

Right On David...that is what it is about...the amends without the expectations.  

I am sorry to hear your mom passed Tom ... I experienced the same with my dad, but unfortunately, my mom passed before I could get and stay sober ... she knew I was struggling with the addiction and I'm sure she prayed for me ... and I am now comforted in knowing that she knows I'm sober now ... somehow I just know her spirit is with me ...