Theres the saying..and weve all heard it, before.."AA is for those who want it..not for those that need it."
Keep an open mind..with what Im about to share here...
This board started with 3 of us..about 5 years ago...and look at it today...unbeleivable..There is a God..no doubt about that one..
Recovery in AA is based on Working the 12 Steps..meetings..and what we hafta do for us...on a daily basis..to recover...arrest this disease...and learn how to live sober..and its a We thing..
This board is based on doing that.
But theres a lot more to it.
We learn about attaining growth.. relationships with ourselves...we learn about relationships with others..and a Higher power..
We learn how to share our experience, strength..and hope with each other..with love and caring and understanding..
We make new freinds....and develop true..honest relationships..with each other...
We give of ourselves to others from our hearts..
This board and the people that share on it...have saved my life twice..in the past 5 years..on 2 occassions when I was going through some heavy shit...sober..
And I mean..physically saved it..Two ocassions when I had no hope for tomorrow..and hit depression pits where..I didnt want to go on..
Throughout those periods..I poured every feeling..and every emotion..unto this board.with every fibre of my being...and I got back tenfold...
I also..was one of those people..that didnt do the steps fully..until I was 16 years sober..I did it my way..I cruised...Then the shit hit the fan...
But I could tell you how to work it all...and I could tell you how to make your life better..I could talk a pretty good talk..to impress the hell out of yu...While I hid behind masks of fear..insecurities..and uncertainties..
And got all the attention..I craved..."Mr AA..himself...just ask Phil..hele tell yu how..Well..Bullshit..
I had to go through these steps with rigourous honesty..
I went to marriage councelling..for me..
I went outside the program..for personal councelling for me...
There was one hell of a pile to clean up...
I even found out..that its takes 2 to work on a relationship..and one cant do it..and that it takes many different tools to do that work..tools that I never had through AA..and never had a clue how to use them..and when I got those tools...it took practice...just like our program...Its all practice..and progress..
And when one cant have a good loving relationship, with themselves..and dont even know who they are..how are they going to do it with anyone else?? Doh!!
Today Im pretty grateful just to be here....and STILL SOBER...
Everything that I post on this board is an extension..of the 12 steps...
And Living...and how to deal with us..and others...
Its an open recovering AA board..I go into other sites to learn on a daily basis..I never wish to stop learning...What I learn on those sites..I share with you..Its a take what you like and leave the rest..
Anyone that wishes to criticize what we all..do here...is likely going to get reactions..
We cant push AA on anyone...and we cant push our thoughts and our ideas.. on how anyone else should be working their program..and living their lives....we do not have that right..
But we can share lovingly with each other..and we do that..
We laugh..we cry..we understand..we have compassion..we love..and we give what we can to others...Not From Our Heads..but..From Our Hearts..
Everyone that shares on this board...does so with good honest intentions...we have no right to criticize any of it...
Have a good day..and thanku all for being here..for this guy...
I might not agree with everything..and all of you..but I luv yu...
__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
oh wow, phil.....i just want to give u a BIG POLAR BEAR HUG!!!!! that was sooo awsome.....thank u for letting us into u like that.........geeez, i loved reading this.........rosie
Your post is very encouraging. You let me know I need to be vigilant and keep doing the next right thing. To do the daily inventory and when I'm wrong to be able to admit it.
I want to thank you and the other 2 folks that kept coming to this board until it caught on. It looks as though it might survive and prosper.
I have not found all my healing strictly in AA. I've had individual, group counseling. Been in an all mens healing group. Done primative, from the soul of the gut, mens retreats. Jungian excersizes with Clara Pincola Estes and even New Warrior Mens Movement, Santa Fe, NM. Yea, it's been a trip, but worth it.
Thanks to all of them and all of you, I strive continually to not pick up the mask on a daily basis
Wow Phil. Incredible!! It's been a tough ride for you and your family. Bless your heart! Reading this has inspired me that maybe one day me and my husband really will be ok. He has a Binge Drinking issue. I never know what is going to trigger it and we have been battling it for the past 4 1/2 years and put off getting married and having children due to it, since he can have a sneak attack at any moment and would be terrified if it happened at a critical one. I finally did give in and we now have a 4 month old son, but it seems things have been steadily getting worse. I am terrified for him and he refuses to get help. Thank you and everyone who contributes to this site. After reading several postings, there are alot of people going through this and even worse than us. Thanks for letting us know we aren't alone. ... My story will be entitled.. Christian.. to be continued........
I wish I could say..that everything turned out the way, that, I was hoping it would...but it didnt.
Good intentions and expectations...sometimes go for a crap--even in sobriety..
Im recently divorced..no blame..no resentments...we forgive others and ourselves..for the mistakes made..
The Luekemia I recently went through is arrested..
Emotions...healing, and grief processes are no fun.....but are getting better..
Learning to live life on life terms..some days..is far from easy..
We pick ourselves up...in these trying times..and we reach out...and people on this board..and the support networks that we acquire, in AA..throw us that rope..and slowly but surely..We come out of the valleys..We learn..we grow..and we try our best..for another day..sober..
We surrender to the 11th step....we give with the 12th step...have faith in a Higher Power..and we truck on..
__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
I have been away from my computer for a couple of days (well I logged on and read one ot two posts but that is all I had time for) and I really wanted to thank you for this share before it disappeared onto the next page.
I have felt on many occasions reading your posts that you sound so centered and balanced. Like you really have such a handle on your recovery. You always seem so upbeat and positive and it really keeps me lifted b/c I believe I can get there. Anyway, today you showed another side of your humanity and I was really touched by your words and you compassion. I just wanted to thank you for that. It reminds me that I am not alone and I have something in common with everyone here.
... My story will be entitled.. Christian.. to be continued........