On the foundation of sobriety, we can build a life of honesty, unselfishness, faith in God, and love of our fellow human beings. We'll never fully reach these goals, but the adventure of building that kind of a life is so much better than the merry-go-round of our old drinking life that there's no comparison. We come into A.A. to get sober, but if we stay long enough we learn a new way of living. We become honest with ourselves and with other people. We learn to think more about others and less about ourselves. And we learn to rely on the constant help of a Higher Power. Am I living the way of honesty, unselfishness, and faith? 

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Resisting Makes Your
Situation Worse

At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is.

The people in your life are the way that they are and you are the way that you are. Everything may change tomorrow, but at any moment, what's so is what's so.

When you are at peace with the truth of "what's so", you can see what needs to be done. You become very effective in handling your situation.

When you fight the truth, you become full of fear and upset. You then create a state of tunnel vision that destroys your ability to see what needs to be done. You quickly make your situation worse.

Here is an example:

Marci was unreliable and her husband Michael hated it. He needed to rely on her because they worked together. When she didn't do her part, he got upset.

He did everything he could to change her, but nothing worked. Marci continued to be unreliable, and the more he resisted her unreliablity, the more unrelable she became.

Finally, after years of relying on her and suffering the consequences, Michael had a realization that changed his life. He realized that Marci wasn't reliable. He hated it, but he finally saw that this was true.

This would have been obvious to anyone else, but Michael couldn't see it. He couldn't see the truth because he didn't want this to be the truth. He wanted Marci to be reliable.

Once he stopped resisting and let in the truth, he saw his situation clearly. He didn't like what he saw, but he could see what he needed to do. For starters, he needed to stop relying on Marci.

The moment he stopped resisting, this area of his life cleared up.

Resisting destroys your ability to see what needs to be done. It also magnifies whatever you are resisting. In fact, the very act of resisting gives power to whatever you are resisting. It gets stronger and more solid.

Here are some examples that demonstrate this:

Imagine four yellow balloons on the ceiling above you. Now, whatever you do, don't think of them. You just thought about them. Don't do that.

Notice what happens when you resist the yellow balloons. You keep thinking about them. In fact, you can hardly think of anything else. Resisting the thought of yellow balloons gives the thought power and keeps it alive.

The same thing happens with anything you resist. By resisting, you create more of whatever you are resisting.

Let's say that you are married and that you have a fear of losing your spouse. The more you resist losing your spouse, the more you hang on, and the more you push your spouse away.

Here's another example. Look at how you feel when someone tries to change you. How do you feel about changing? You don't want to. You get upset and become resistant. You don't want to change a thing.

The same thing happens when you resist someone else or any other aspect of your life. The very act of resisting makes whatever you resist more solid.

Look at any area of your life that isn't working.

This area of your life is the way that it is, and you are fighting it. By your fighting and resisting this area of your life, you destroy your ability to see what needs to be done. You literally make your situation worse.

So why do we resist? Why can't we flow with life? Why can't we be at peace with the truth?

We resist to avoid the same nerve that creates our upsets. Ultimately, this nerve is an old, childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure or some other form of feeling "not okay."

Finding and healing this hurt is one of the most important things you can ever do.

Article by Bill Ferguson...Masteryoflife.com