Had that nagging feeling yesterday. Yesterday was supposed to be significant and I couldn't think why.
I felt disturbed all day. Worked hard. Was productive. Got things done. But felt edgy.
Went to my home group. Met a man 69 days sober who toldd me he was living five minutes at a time because his head was spinning and he wanted to drink.
He talked I listened he slowed it up and said thanks for listening. I still didn't feel right. Then the main share said he was 44 years married next week and I realised that were I still married I'd a been 35 years wed yesterday.
Must admit I missed the rest of his share wondering why I'd forgotten that little fact. Was it no longer significant? no it's significant. Was there regret? yes there was regret but then I realised this is fact. I'm no longer legally wed and hadn't been actively wed for years.
Sure I wondered if my ex was ok and I hope she is. I wondered if my kids had done summat nice with her of late and hope they had. I hope she and they has accepted the facts.
I got home, looked on Facebook and saw it were my nephew's 37th birthday so I wish him a happy biryhday and have an early night still not sure how I felt.
Got up at six this morning and I'm ok.
Yesterday is history. Another member said that last night. Once you've swept away the wreckage of the past it's ok to glance back and learn. It's foolish and painful and pointless to stand and stare.
Onward. Ever onward.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Thanks Bill! I can have days like that too! Something doesn't feel right, but not sure what it is. Spend a lot of energy trying to figure it out. Never really coming to a conclusion. Sometimes it's just feelings with no real meaning to them. Feelings aren't always facts I guess. I use the slogan this too shall pass and the next day seems to be fine. I think we all go through it.
