Hi, MLS! Welcome to the site. I'm a mom, too. I think you will find everyone here very friendly and helpful.
You should consider going to a meeting, but I know the idea is probably pretty scary. I was literally shaking when I went to my first one. I found every reason in the world to go back home. Then, I saw a lady who looked like a mom, wandering around looking lost. I thought to myself that the 2 confused moms could find the room together. But when I tried to go down the stairs and catch up with her, she was gone, and there were 3 doors to choose from. I was turning around to go home, relieved that I could go home, and a burly biker guy came up behind me. He told me I was in the right place, and to turn around. I was sooo glad that I did. There were a lot of newcomers that morning, and everyone went around telling their story. They were all *exactly* like me. I cried through the entire meeting, and nobody even seemed to notice. When the meeting was over, several of them gave me pamphlets and their numbers, and one woman, bless her, hugged me while I cried. I felt like I had found what I had been searching for.
Find the courage to go to one, just one. They are all just like you, and will be the kindest, non-judgemental people you have ever met. I promise. If you don't like it, you never have to go back.
-- Edited by missyj on Thursday 22nd of August 2013 10:23:27 PM
I am a female alcoholic, a functional one at that. I am trying to get sober alone, which has been more or less a difficult thing to do. I have decided to join this website in hopes that it will help push me in the right direction. I have the desire to become sober, and have had about three nights this week in which I have remained sober. However last night I gave in to my demons and had four glasses of wine. I am really disappointed in myself. I have a four year old child which is the driving force for me to become permanently sober. I feel ashamed of myself and I was hoping for some help without having to check in to a rehab or something along those lines because I love my daughter and never want to leave her alone, let alone allow her to know I have a problem. All help would be greatly appreciated.
I tried to quit drinking alone for many, many years and managed it in short spurts but could never kick it entirely. I felt ashamed, too. The thing that finally helped me was Alcoholics Anonymous. Walking into your first meeting is terrifying, but I pretty quickly felt so relieved that I didn't have to struggle on my own anymore. Have you looked into meetings near you?
Welcome to MIP - Motherhood does not cure alcoholism. I thought it would - but as much as I loved my 2 & 5 yr old, it wasn't enough to conquer the disease. I didn't know it was actually a disease. I thought I should be able to control it - love people enough etc. That's not how it works. I've found that AA is the only thing that could help me stop and stay stopped. I could stop on my own for a while too - but I always came back to it. My kids are 4 and 7 now - and don't even really remember my drinking. We are happy and healthy and I hope you will find your way into the meeting rooms in your area to discover that life can be wonderful without alcohol.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Most all of us have learned that we cannot quit drinking on our own ... and some of us came to AA hoping against all hope that we could learn to drink like normal folks ... but we found out like you read above, that it is a disease of body and soul ... AA taught us to recognize and believe in a power greater than ourselves and to enlist the help of this power and the power of other recovering alcoholics to get and remain sober ...
Absolutely NO one can help you like that of another alcoholic ... we know exactly what your going through and facing, we have worn the shoes you are walking in right now ... we can help you if you let us ... please find a way to get and read the AA 'Big Book' and get to some meetings ASAP ... you will be accepted into the family immediately and without judgement ... we are just like you, but together, we find it unnecessary to drink anymore ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Aloha MLS and welcome to the board...I will add to the great responses you have already received...find out as much as you can about this disease you have...don't cut the education down or skip anything because alcoholism is a fatal disease. It can and will if given the chance have your child motherless after it destroys you life in between. This is a compulsion of the mind (I think you got that part) and an allergy of the body (when you start feeling mind and mood changed...that's the alcohol and that is not natural or normal). If not arrested by total abstinence it will progress toward insanity and/or death unless you choose the third option sobriety which isn't just not drinking and much more living with the assurance that you can have a really good life without alcohol at any time with and from the help of others. Theres more...you have to keep coming back to get it. Look up the hotline number for AA in your white pages and call to find out where and when we meet in your area.
