Wow! I have drinking dreams pretty frequently. Early this morning I had a really intense relapse dream, and the dream was mostly about the aftermath. The intense pain and shame and horror and confusion and wanting to just disappear. It also involved some pretty intense revisiting of my steps 4 and 5 to see if anything had been missing.
I woke up and it took a good five minutes to realize that it had been a dream. I feel a lot of gratitude in its wake for being sober, on the cusp of my ninth month of sobriety. I also feel a renewed commitment to my sobriety: this shit is life or death.
Just felt compelled to share with you all. This board has been an instrumental part of my journey in the fellowship. Lots of love.
I had a lot of those dreams in my first year. I always considered them good reminders of what it would feel like to go back out.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
I had a lot of fun drinking until it became a nightmare, and I find it interesting that the dreams I had were always the nightmare version. I never had a dream about how good alcohol made me feel for so many years. I'm convinced that my HP was sending me a message: don't stray from the path of sobriety. Remember the alternative!
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
The dreams were always that drinking was bad news. I never once had a dream about having a good time drinking. I think they signify a really deep and honest desire to quit.
My last drinking dream was in my 29th 30th year...so surprising...I found myself standing at the edge of my bed at 3am in the morning asking her if I had left the house. She said no and I believed her and went back to sleep. Woke up in the morning and both cars were in the garage park in proper order. Panic movie rerun...
My dreams are not often on drinking. But they are only dreams. I get up, get coffee, hit the treadmill. Life beckons, whatever scary or wonderful dream I had. Maybe I was conditioned by my first sponsor, "it was just a dream, now what are you doing today" was his response. Funny cat he was.
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"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
My sponsor told me that a drinking dream is 'just a thought' ... and as long as I didn't ACT on it, I was okay ... ... ... time to get my old thinking and boot it out of my mind and concentrate on my 'new way' of thinking ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
