The degree to which I can create relationships, which facilitate the growth of others as separate persons, is a measure of the growth I have achieved in myself. --Carl R. Rogers
As children we clung to and modeled ourselves after friends and siblings and sometimes parents. We imitated with ease how a friend walked and gestured. At times we identified too closely, and lost the self that ached to be known. And just as often, we encouraged someone else to follow our lead. The struggle to be whole and separate and happy was consuming. It consumes us even now.
We often neglect individual development, opting instead for a closeness with others that defies real love and stifles our growth. Unless we explore our individuality, we'll neither discover nor be able to nurture the talents that are our gifts. And the truest demonstration of our love is to nurture that exploration in another.
The paradox is that finally we can only sustain meaning in our moments and hours of togetherness if we've tapped the source of our creative strength in our times apart.
We must cherish both the coming together and the going apart to know love.
