For me..."Hell yes"!! Self validation for me has always been a practice of second guessing with a failure to acknowledge that one simple truth..."God don't make no junk". I was raised to think that self validation was vain and vain was sinful. Glad I found the program. Good post. ((((hugs)))) Pat's on the back and hugs are okay. really.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 11th of August 2013 10:58:38 PM
I could take it or leave it. If I really feel what I am doing is right, I go with self validation. If others agree with me, I go with group validation.
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I feel validation can be very important. Given that I started this journey an emotional cripple, feelings were not something I had much practice with.
The problem is that this journey is not about a never ending quest for comfort, just feeling good all the time. There have been times when I have been disturbed, even angry, and have needed to take remedial action. Also there have been times where emotions such as grief, with which I had no experience, made their presence felt. Sometimes this brings great discomfort, sometimes doing the right thing can be painful, often there is an easier option presented such as run away.
Often there are times when I question my feelings. Am I losing it? Or is this a normal sane reaction. In such times it is tremendously helpful to talk with another person, perhaps a fellow AA or a professional in the field. The most beneficial instance of this for me was in the time aft my wife's death. For reasons I won't go into here, I found myself extremely angry, almost incandescent with rage relating to the recent behaviour of a family member towards my wife. It was quite frightening ...resentment kills alcoholics... I talked with a fellow AA, he did his best but was not experienced in the field of grief. I remember asking him if this was a valid way to feel.
Fortunately I had an opportunity to talk to a grief counsellor who was able to put my mind at ease, giving me validation by explaining that my reaction and particularly the strength of my feelings, were perfectly normal in the circumstances.
It was one of those situations where AA did not have the answer, but God did by providing grief counsellors.