Lost warriors have only to open their eyes to find the right and good path. -- Chief Red Mountain
We all carry a fountain of joy inside. This joy is not something special given to only a few of us. An abundance of joy, happiness, and peace is our right. Our hearts were meant to be full of love and laughter.
We have been promised that our lives will get better. Even the worst situations will be made right. As we walk the path of recovery, our lives do get better. When we think we have reached our limit of joy and happiness, something else happens. We get happier! Life will not be without troubles, but joy and gratitude will heal all wounds and shine through all problems.
Today let me accept, without fear, the new joy I feel.
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I didn't think I would live to see 35, but here it is... and I remember thinking that life after 30 would be just plain boring and no fun and I wouldn't be happy. It was true until I got here at 33. Now that I'm 35 - I'm happier than I could have ever dreamed, and I'm looking forward to the rest of my life more and more for the first time EVER! What a gift. So many more days than most have gotten. Today when my mom called to wish me a happy birthday - for the first time ever I was inclined to THANK HER for giving me my life on this day. It just popped out. I think she was as shocked as I was. I'm thankful she's still alive to see this. I'm surprised at that too. I ate some yummy pulled pork tonight at famous daves - and listened to my favorite blues music. All at once, a beer looked delicious!!!?????? I knew it was just a thought, and that's all, and I don't have to act on it, or fight it. Yes, beer tastes good. It also kills. I WANT TO LIVE!!!! I was delighted to go about my evening and cherish my family. A family I thought I'd lost 16 months ago. I'm so grateful for my family here at MIP. Especially YOU!
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
This abundance of joy thing hasn't really happened for me. I don't think I'm a naturally ebullient person to begin with. I have experienced a significant amount of serenity, however, particularly after I worked the middle steps - four through nine. Housecleaning evidently goes a long way toward inner peace.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
I do not find an abundance of joy unless I 'look' for it ... I have found that I can be about as 'happy as I want to be' ... OR as 'miserable' ... ... ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Where do you look for it? I'm thinking I'm basically a depressive personality. The doctor suggested medication, but I'm loathe to go that direction.
It's not that I don't feel good, it's just that "joy" is too strong a word for it, like I should be dancing a jig or something.
The only time I get a real glimmer of joy is when a newcomer joins AA and the miracle starts happening for them. That sends shivers down my soul.
Other than that, I feel happy sometimes, sad others, but nothing I can honestly describe as joy. Maybe I was swapped with an British baby at birth. :P
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Feel better brother! No need to respond, I'm just venting a bit.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Q - This 'joy' - is not a constant for me either. It's fleeting just like serenity. If it were constant - we wouldn't call it these things anymore, because they wouldn't be special anymore. If I lived in a state of constant orgasm.... would I even care about it anymore after a while? It would just be the norm. So this 'joy' is just simply the feelings that are now free to come out momentarily - that were locked away completely before. I have many a day now. More each day. As I learn to just be - and take in life as it's happening - and look upon my loved ones from that 3 steps back... a huge grin comes over my face. When I meditate under the sun, and a butterfly goes by, or a kitty surprises me with a nuzzle - I think of how this was missing from my life - and it brings me SHEER JOY to now be capable of taking in the world, doing things for me, relaxing when I need to, appreciating nature for it's marvels etc etc etc.
When I can 'be' - and not react - and step back and wonder - I'm filled with joy. I don't know how else to explain Q - but I wouldn't go so far as to start thinking I'm depressive, or calling myself that. What I think - I become. Try taking a day to think to yourself and say to yourself that you're the happiest more joyful person you know. It may seem silly - but what do you have to lose really? This would be an excellent way to 'act as if' until you act yourself into 'be'coming it.
Here's a link for you dear... I love you... your honesty is wonderful. It brings me joy that you're here!! ;P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks Tasha, that makes a lot of sense. I suppose I've been expecting to live on Cloud 9 for longer periods of time.
Actually the analogy between joy and orgasms is very good - that puts the whole thing in perspective. I certainly don't expect to walk around all day having orgasms, lol - that would be messy.
I love this program.
KEEP COMING!lol!
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Where do you look for it? I'm thinking I'm basically a depressive personality. The doctor suggested medication, but I'm loathe to go that direction.
It's not that I don't feel good, it's just that "joy" is too strong a word for it, like I should be dancing a jig or something.
The only time I get a real glimmer of joy is when a newcomer joins AA and the miracle starts happening for them. That sends shivers down my soul.
Other than that, I feel happy sometimes, sad others, but nothing I can honestly describe as joy. Maybe I was swapped with an British baby at birth. :P
Sorry I took so long to respond Q ...it's been a l-o-n-g few days for me ... Like Tom, I'm feeling better!
As for 'feeling the joy' on a more consistent basis, for me, it took practice ... I cannot add a whole lot more than what Tasha shared and I think it's worth re-printing her comment: "When I can 'be' - and not react - and step back and wonder - I'm filled with joy. I don't know how else to explain Q - but I wouldn't go so far as to start thinking I'm depressive, or calling myself that. What I think - I become. Try taking a day to think to yourself and say to yourself that you're the happiest more joyful person you know. It may seem silly - but what do you have to lose really? This would be an excellent way to 'act as if' until you act yourself into 'be'coming it."
For instance, today, I savor the smell and taste of coffee and other smells from the kitchen ... I have learned to not eat for the sake of eating, but rather take the time to 'taste' the flavor of every bite ... instead of being 'unhappy' to 'leave my home' and travel to see my son so I can work, I have learned to 'look forward' to being with him and being grateful I can still do things to help him out ... I take much more joy in being outdoors and in the midst of nature, the thunderstorm last night was a biggie, so I went and sat on the back deck(screened-in porch w/roof) and simply awed at the house shaking power of the thunder and displays of lightning (good meditation)... it was like Angell and his minnows, LOL ... a wonderful time to enjoy life and be a part of it, instead of withdrawn and isolated ...
I feel I can chose to 'enjoy each moment in life by taken it one moment at a time ... I used to be soooo damn 'negative' about everything ... it is so refreshing to practice being joyful and positive ... like Tasha's web 'link' 'fake it til you make' or something like that, it is a learned process ... we are not ever 'automatically happy', like the program, we have to work for it ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Well I appreciate that, Pappy. I needed a course correction on my whole concept of joy - I just had it defined in a completely fairy-tale sort of way. Thank you for sharing!
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Hope you feel better Pappy...