I came from the original loud family. People came over to my house and wondered why we were all yelling at each other. They would say, "why are you guys so mad at each other, wow, who did what to whom?" I would respond, "we're not mad at each other at all we're just talking. You don't want to be around if we're really mad!!"
Some would think that loudness is enthusiasm, exciting and engaging. Sometimes it's just loud and annoying.
I have learned to quiet things down in my life and the life of my family. When faced with an opportunity to yell, even when I'm not mad, I take the quiet road more than I have in the past.
Here's my question........I'm just wondering was anyone out there raised in the loud family and has learned to quiet things down?! Any tricks I can use to do this?!
Another statement I make in regards to my upbringing is that, "In my family, people can say I love you but I hate you in the same sentence and mean each emotion completely!!" Is that a good thing or is it just another example of the confusion and chaos that I felt growing up?! Sometimes, I was at least happy I was allowed to emote......but emoting tooooo much is bad.
Hyper emotionalism met my wife's non emotionalism and somehow it has worked for 23 years.....dated 3 years before we married....so 26 years total!!
Wow - thanks for the post - I can so very much relate! These days I need a lot of quiet and nature and I havie to be proactive and take actions sometimes to make sure that can happen since I live with little ones who are noisy - and my husband loves back round sound.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
No Pablo, I came from the original 'loud' family ... LOL
My dad was deaf in one ear and had lost 90% of his hearing in the other ear ... if he were to be part of any conversation, it had to be loud (he could not afford a 'hearing aid at the time) ... So, we all talked very loud almost all the time ... what this seemed to do is set the stage for an argument to easily get started since we were already nearly screaming at each other ...
Even today, after being out of that environment, I cannot stand loud conversation, especially at home ... and I have to frequently get my wife to tone down her voice, and my son if I'm at his place ... they don't even realize they are talking so loud ... (I do believe my wife has hearing loss due to frequent 'air travel' and my son too, due to his generations' 'loud' music ...) ... couple that with my extremely sensitive hearing and it's a recipe for easy arguments too ... (for instance, if I set the sound level on the TV, my wife and my son both will always ask for me to turn it up ... so much so that it causes me great discomfort ... I have learned to carry 'ear plugs' with me now, so if it gets too uncomfortable, I pop those babies in and I am good to go ... LOL) ... (never could change them, I had to change my routine!!!) ...
As far as the 'I love you' and 'I hate you' in the same sentence, ya know?, I haven't experienced any of the 'I hate you' emotions since being a year or two sober, it's been much more in the area of 'I love you' emotions ... (been married to the same woman for 40 years, as of last week, LOL) ...
Ear Plugs!!! ... go get some of those soft squishy thingies at Kroger, pharmacy dept. ... ... ... it's like a box of 10 ... I carry them with me now when I visit the kid/s ... it makes it so much more enjoyable for me to watch a TV movie with them ... (especially when the kid wants to show off his 'house shaking' powered sub-woofer & stereo system ...) ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good Morning MIP!!