My brain told me I was "cured" after over a year sober, and that was just dumb. Lost connection to the program after my divorce and have been in the "controlled" drinking test for 5 years.
Anyway, glad to be back in the program and working the steps. Let there be no doubt, I am an alcoholic.
Glad you made it back. I had a dream about that very thing last night. I was glad to wake up to find it was only a dream and I wasn't actually insane again. Most of it was about me trying to convince my husband I was fine now to drink a few - and I could stop - and that I had been doing it for a while and it was going fine... but deep deep down... just like before... I could tell I was not fine, I knew the darkness was looming... and that I was again insane and lying and needing to believe my own lies so I could drink.
It's amazing how this disease works. It really really is... it even works while we're asleep.
For today - I will remember - that ANYTHING that makes me think it's okay to drink EVER again for ANY reason is WHAT my DISEASE is!!!
Thanks for your share - and thank you God for the wake up call! I guess I must have needed it and didn't know it.
So loved.
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Welcome back to MIP Ironman, ... I, too, am glad you made it back ... too many in my group that leave after a while and never return ... it's always for one of two reasons, they don't want to recover, or they died ...
Love ya man and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good to see you back Ironman!! It is a miracle when people make it back, my brother wasn't so blessed and lucky. Please use this second chance well!! Hope to see and hear about your recovery in the coming months. But, for now, one day at a time is the only way for me!!
Like justa I have drinking dreams every so often.......always a blessing to wake up and know it was only a dream. That darkness and insanity will always be associated with my drinking. It is my disease working overtime in my sleep. Seems crazy, but, that is how powerful, cunning and baffling this alcoholism is!!
This fellowship can and will save ours lives if we work a program!!
Lost connection to the program after my divorce . . .
Yes, that is the key variable I have seen confirmed over and over again.
Alkies, to stay in recovery, cannot drift away from the meetings, the Big Book, the other literature, the steps, the sponsor, the service, the AA friends and acquaintances, the sharing, etc.
Thanks for getting back and sharing the experience, Iman.
so glad you are back. it takes what it takes, brother. thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope today. when i started step 4 i found out i was not willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober and went out for 6 months. got into more trouble with the law, and immediately saw that i needed to do whatever it takes to stay sober today. willingness to work the steps is the answer and the pathway is the steps. AA is a spiritual program that shows us alcoholics the answers we have always tried to find (or hide from) at the bottom of a bottle. keep coming back.
Thanks everyone. I'm glad to have another support outlet and hope to stick around these boards from time to time and will stick to my home group every day. Living in resentment and ego is a road to disaster for us. I just completed th bulk of my personal inventory today. Action here is key from this point on.
Welcome to the board Ironman, we're all family in here. pull up a chair and stay as long as you like. You experience, strength, and hope is of great value here. We just had someone ask "How do you know what would happen if you went out...".
Thanks everyone. I'm glad to have another support outlet and hope to stick around these boards from time to time and will stick to my home group every day. Living in resentment and ego is a road to disaster for us. I just completed th bulk of my personal inventory today. Action here is key from this point on.
Sounds like you are on the right path....I'm glad you made it back. Welcome.
