It usually refers to a person or group of people who exhibit the same alcoholic behaviors (today) as they did back when -minus the alcohol of course.
It's as if, they were forced to change a part of themselves that, according to them, didn't need changing. So as a result they become bitter, angry and even resentful over the loss of their friend king alcohol.
They've missed the most significant part of the A.A. program -the spiritual awakening part, as mentioned in step 12- and instead become sober horse thieves.
An easy fix to all this: Do something nice for yourself and do it more often. The more confidence you have the less likely you'll become dry. It's just my take, though. I hope it helps.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 19th of July 2013 11:14:45 PM
Well the doctor today told me today I was a dry drunk. Not trying to be stupid but I really don't understand what this is. I have been sober for 16 months. On medication to keep me stable ( sad to admit such a thing ). Don't have a sponsor because the ones I have in the past have been terrible . But recently I have had a shift in moods .Hate everything and stay mad pretty much all day. Is that what a dry drunk is?
A 'Dry Drunk' is a person who has remained sober for some period of time BUT has not come to realize or know the promises of sobriety as described in the AA BB ... ... ... I have known people who have stayed sober for years on just a resentment ... Not a happy life, drinking or not ... ... ...
When we learn and apply the 12 steps and the principles of AA to all areas of our life, we come to know or experience the promises listed in the book ... such as:
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
If you are missing any of the promises listed above, then it is likely that you are not working the program ... ... ... or have a ways to go to complete the 'change' ... ... ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Right on Mr. David...that is the short of it. Sad thing to watch. It's like watching a fisherman catch his finger with a hook...he can pull it out a bit and the "Barb" keep holding it in. Get rid of the barb...for me the metaphor for ego and pride and out comes the hook with the pain. You have a very wise doctor Body...be grateful for him. By the way go see if one of those "terrible" sponsors might take you up again in recovery.
Right on Mr. David...that is the short of it. Sad thing to watch. It's like watching a fisherman catch his finger with a hook...he can pull it out a bit and the "Barb" keep holding it in. Get rid of the barb...for me the metaphor for ego and pride and out comes the hook with the pain. You have a very wise doctor Body...be grateful for him. By the way go see if one of those "terrible" sponsors might take you up again in recovery.
I can honestly say I do not work the program ( steps ). I have had issues with them from the very first day walking into AA. It's not that I think they are bad and won't work....it's because I view them as a form of control .
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
How It Works pg 58
Everything you need to know is in the book....Ask someone to take you through it. Sending you prayers for willingness.
-- Edited by Stepchild on Saturday 20th of July 2013 03:47:49 PM
Thank you for the responses everyone. I can honestly say I do not work the program ( steps ). I have had issues with them from the very first day walking into AA. It's not that I think they are bad and won't work....it's because I view them as a form of control . I see them work for others but refuse to allowing them to work for me. I know that statement sounds as if I don't care about my well being .I do not ever want to drink again. I am not sorry I stopped drinking. And I have not been miserable the past 16 months . Being on these boards the past couple weeks has helped me. I find everyone one very nice and not at all condemning to others when they disagree with a behavior. Instead everyone is kind and supportive. I am very thankful for each and everyone of you.
Today I will try. I'll go to a meeting and just listen. A sponsor once told me to listen for 30 days before sharing. Maybe I will try this. I want to be happy like those here. And I will look for a sponsor again. I need to stop finding things wrong with people. We are all human and make mistakes.
Guys I truly love you all. Thank you for helping me. See you around : )
Go to step meetings. Open Discussion meetings are a free-for-all, and you rarely get good step work. They're the bane of AA in my opinion.
Freedom from anxiety can be achieved, particularly by working the middle steps (4-9).
A lot of people have taken this journey: just go to meetings and don't drink, including myself. IT DOESN'T WORK. There's no pussyfooting around it.
If you want sobriety, work the steps.
__________________
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Birdie...if you got a big book spend time with it and ponder what it says about fear cause I relate to what you are saying when I remember what it was like and it was like when I first got into program...It, they, them...wasn't for me...steps?...pullleeezzz stop. Listen and learn? the voice in my head was louder than any voice in the room and when I did try to listen; while they were sharing their ESH the voice in my head was screaming Bull----!! Bull----!!. I was just afraid and because of that so self centered and arrogant. Take the "maybe" out of your promise. Make as much as a commitment to your sobriety as the fellowship makes in being there for you. We get to believe that the program works as we watch others work it and get sober...mind, body, spirit and emotions. My elder sponsor told me. "If you're not sober on all four levels all at the same time....you're not sober". He's gone now and his message still lives. 30 days....sit down...all the way down...listen, learn, practice, practice, practice...then give it away and watch someone else gain the miracle.
