I used to watch his show as a kid ... he had many faces, all of them funny ... and yes, he was known for his good clean humor, like Jack Benny and others ...
Red Skelton's Recipes
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . .
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back..
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen..
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair..
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."..
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off..
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'..
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"..
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words..."God Bless" with a big smile on his face. : )
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
Been married 23 years.....can't say that I know what makes my wife tick. Could be all the crap I put her through. Or it could be all the crap she puts herself through!!
Wouldn't trade my marriage for anything.
My high school students, I teach can't believe that I've never had an affair. It's the world they live in.
I do enjoy letting them know that marriage can work, being a parent is the hardest job they will ever have, and that I make mistakes daily!!
My mistakes don't make me drink though......they also know I'm sober.
Hey ZZ, ... Nope, I don't think that was Red, ... I DO remember that 'sign off' but I can't remember who that was ... Hummmm ... may have to research that one ... thanks
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
