Religion is something that has plagued this world for a long time now. Most of us find comfort in god because it helps us deal with reality. and gives its host something to look forward to after we inevitably die. And we WILL die. Its just a matter of when. so the Idea of god can really help sedate the worry of death and would most likely even make one look forward to dying and "going home" in advanced stages of ones terminal illness. This Isn't a bad thing. It really would be fine if it were not for some of the other crippling effects religion has on the human race.
You have made a number of interesting points but they seem to be in conflict with each other. For instance, three points that you've made in this opening paragraph are:
1. Most of us find comfort in god because it helps us deal with reality. (The reality being, as you go on to say, that we shall die.)
2. It creates A false sense of security... (a belief in a god)
3. This Isn't a bad thing. (that a belief in God can mitigate fear of death)
You seem to be coming from an atheist point of view, which is, of course, fine. If however, there is no god, then point one is moot because religion cannot help us to deal with reality if it is based on a false assumption. In fact, you drive this position home in point two where you say that a belief in god creates a false sense of security. If there is no god, then casting the illusion that there is a god is in fact a very bad thing. It is dishonest and will lead people away from the truth.
Robbie0330 wrote:
The biggest problem that religion brings to us is the FEAR EFFECT. Fear is a very powerful emotion. It causes us to think to quick and doesn't give the mind time to think things over. in other words it creates compulsory
One cannot create fear in any person. Fear, like fire, can be fanned - but it must exist in a person already for it to be brought forth. Perhaps too you will find this simply semantics, but the brain thinks - not the mind. This is an important distinction and much more than simple semantics. Fear does not cause a failure to think clearly or compulsory (behavior), an uncontrolled mind does.
Robbie0330 wrote:
Most Christians I know today...
I am responsible for my own behavior as are Christians. What I do is not caused by any external person, place or thing. Likewise, what individual Christians do is upon them, not their religion.
Robbie0330 wrote:
But enough with the Christians. Remember 911? of course you do. That wasn't terrorism. That was religion. Those Islamic...
I am responsible for my own behavior as are Muslims. What I do is not caused by any external person, place or thing. Likewise, what individual Muslims do is upon them, not their religion.
Robbie0330 wrote:
..."Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. Your damn right! Its called being fucking brainwashed!
You have spurned much of your childhood programming, proving that an individual can resist. Few do but all can. It speaks to your character that you seek your own truth and not that which was forced fed to you. What you have done is no small feat and I hope that you see it for the extraordinary accomplishment that it is.
Robbie0330 wrote:
Christians don't use this though. Not today anyway. With the weakened minds of the USA the fear of hell is plenty enough to scare the shit out your average kid. When I was only 9 years old, my little sister and I were brought in to an old woman's house who lived next door to my grandmother. She had so many dolls. I can remember the smell of the fabric and incense that was about us. She told us about that place. She told us that the only way to avoid going there was to except someone named jesus into our hearts to live there. We were both crying after about 10 minutes or so. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember looking at those dolls. But my head was somewhere else. Sure I had excepted this Jesus guy (out of complete fear I'll have you know) But it wasn't enough. What about Mom!? Dad? grandma and grampa!? they were going to hell! I had to tell them. And they wouldn't listen. It devastated me. That was the moment in my life I think my childhood came to an abrupt end. Every time I went to bed all I could think about was someone not having jesus and going to hell. I will never forgive that bitch.
I understand why you feel the way you do about this episode in your life. There are many well meaning people, and more than a few self-serving folks without any sense of altruism who behave like this woman did. I think you've expressed poignantly why it is best to allow someone the dignity of finding their own higher power - or the lack thereof. The elderly woman who shared her beliefs with you and your sister was operating out of fear and in doing so, she fanned the flames of fear in you.
Robbie0330 wrote:
The other day I read a book called "23 minutes in hell" by bill weise. Apparently Bill went to hell one night for 23 minutes and spoke of his horrors while he was there. The whole point of the book was to scare the lord into you. Its Actually a great horror novel if you like that sort of thing, but its a prime example of what Im talking about. Hell is Christian ammunition. It's their 1 2 punch. And I'll bet you 6 days to bloody sunday that most of you Christians out their are just like how I used to be. Not forming a relationship with jesus because you want to go to heaven. But doing so because you don't want to go to hell.
I cannot speak to this paragraph as I am not 'most of you Christians out there'. In fact, I am not Christian at all.
Robbie0330 wrote:
So does any of all this really bother me today? Yes. Yes it does. It has all left me in a state of resentment.
There is a way out of resentment and fear. I have found it.
Robbie0330 wrote:
I hate Christianity. I Hate Allah. I hate Jesus. I hate the Idea of God And I believe that no good can come from him. God Needs to die. I HATE HIM. HE RUINED MY LIFE.
Hate, as with all emotions, requires energy to sustain it. I said earlier, and I meant it sincerely, that you've broken through a great deal of childhood programming: but not this. I do not believe that God ruined your life and honestly, I don't think you do either really. I think fear ruined your life to this point. You are always free to choose a different future.
Robbie0330 wrote:
This guy could not possibly help me quit drinking. I WAS DRINKING WHEN HE WAS IN MY LIFE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I will be my own Higher Power. Satan Will be my higher power. The opposition. Life is nothing but a big joke... And when the punch line hits, Ill die laughing.
GOD CANNOT KEEP ME SOBER. THE VERY THOUGHT OF GOD MAKES ME WISH I WAS DRUNK.
You may find it odd that I agree with the gist of what you are saying here. I am an atheist. I have found a higher power but it is not God - or even god. As such, I do not believe that a god is keeping me sober - and yet I am clean and sober for the past 21 years. I have my life back from drugs, from alcohol, from the nightmares and PTSD from being tortured while in the military, from being sexually assaulted as a child, from everything. I am free. You can be as well - even without god. I know you vent here, I know you are angry as we sometimes seem to perpetuate the very idea's that you hold responsible for ruining your life but I see myself in you and I hope you find the peace and joy that I have. If I can help you with that; if you'd like to talk - PM me.
Angel
-- Edited by Angell on Thursday 18th of July 2013 02:19:34 AM
Religion is something that has plagued this world for a long time now. Most of us find comfort in god because it helps us deal with reality. It creates A false sense of security and gives its host something to look forward to after we inevitably die. And we WILL die. Its just a matter of when. so the Idea of god can really help sedate the worry of death and would most likely even make one look forward to dying and "going home" in advanced stages of ones terminal illness. This Isn't a bad thing. It really would be fine if it were not for some of the other crippling effects religion has on the human race.
The biggest problem that religion brings to us is the FEAR EFFECT. Fear is a very powerful emotion. It causes us to think to quick and doesn't give the mind time to think things over. in other words it creates compulsory. Most Christians I know today are much more concerned with banning gay marriage than they are concerned with someone on the sidewalk sweating or freezing his ass off. (depending on the time of year) They would rather stop someone than help someone. Why? In my opinion Its because they are afraid. They know that God has forbade this type of behavior and if they don't do everything they can to stop it, They might be the one ending up on the slab of god. I never see Christians out on the sidewalk holding up cardboard signs unless they are pissed about something. They stand out if front of Planned Parenthood buildings and condemn women for not wanting to bring another mouth into this already overpopulated mud ball, point fingers and yell "murderer" and even throw things from time to time. Some of them even go so far as to plant bombs inside the buildings they fear in an attempt to bring them to ash.
But enough with the Christians. Remember 911? of course you do. That wasn't terrorism. That was religion. Those Islamic mother fuckers let me tell you what... They will DIE for what they believe in! How many modern day Christians in America can you say that about? When Richard Remirez put a gun to some christians head and told them to say I love Satan, They did it. You wont get that from a Muslim. They would have ripped that gun right out of his hand or died trying. They send their own children into the city, with explosives duck taped to their spine ready to sacrifice their life and blow down as many infidel's as they possibly can. Those muslims are hardcore man.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. Your damn right! Its called being fucking brainwashed!
Christians don't use this though. Not today anyway. With the weakened minds of the USA the fear of hell is plenty enough to scare the shit out your average kid. When I was only 9 years old, my little sister and I were brought in to an old woman's house who lived next door to my grandmother. She had so many dolls. I can remember the smell of the fabric and incense that was about us. She told us about that place. She told us that the only way to avoid going there was to except someone named jesus into our hearts to live there. We were both crying after about 10 minutes or so. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember looking at those dolls. But my head was somewhere else. Sure I had excepted this Jesus guy (out of complete fear I'll have you know) But it wasn't enough. What about Mom!? Dad? grandma and grampa!? they were going to hell! I had to tell them. And they wouldn't listen. It devastated me. That was the moment in my life I think my childhood came to an abrupt end. Every time I went to bed all I could think about was someone not having jesus and going to hell. I will never forgive that bitch.
The other day I read a book called "23 minutes in hell" by bill weise. Apparently Bill went to hell one night for 23 minutes and spoke of his horrors while he was there. The whole point of the book was to scare the lord into you. Its Actually a great horror novel if you like that sort of thing, but its a prime example of what Im talking about. Hell is Christian ammunition. It's their 1 2 punch. And I'll bet you 6 days to bloody sunday that most of you Christians out their are just like how I used to be. Not forming a relationship with jesus because you want to go to heaven. But doing so because you don't want to go to hell.
So does any of all this really bother me today? Yes. Yes it does. It has all left me in a state of resentment. I hate Christianity. I Hate Allah. I hate Jesus. I hate the Idea of God And I believe that no good can come from him. God Needs to die. I HATE HIM. HE RUINED MY LIFE. This guy could not possibly help me quit drinking. I WAS DRINKING WHEN HE WAS IN MY LIFE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I will be my own Higher Power. Satan Will be my higher power. The opposition. Life is nothing but a big joke... And when the punch line hits, Ill die laughing.
GOD CANNOT KEEP ME SOBER. THE VERY THOUGHT OF GOD MAKES ME WISH I WAS DRUNK.
I have the same reaction to most organized religion of any creed: the blatant hypocrisy of it all disgusts me.
On a personal level, I conceive of my higher power as something like The Force in Star Wars - a transcendent power for good which permeates creation, but isn't necessarily The Creator. The idea that a god created a flawed universe which he then has to redeem seems ridiculous to me.
I like building things, but I put every effort into making a perfect product from the very start. Why would I make something I knew was flawed, and then try to redeem it? That would be pointless and illogical. Of course, sometimes I do have to tweak it, but then I'm not perfect, and I make mistakes. The creator god of the religionists, however, is purported to be perfect, so why would he create a universe populated by flawed creatures? Either he's playing some strange game, or he isn't perfect, or he doesn't even exist.
I prefer the latter: the Zoroastrian idea that the universe is uncreated. It simply is.
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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. ---William James
In AA, I found people who where both spiritual and religious or only spiritual. The Christions, Jews, and Muslims that actually mesh the principles of AA with their religion (which many of the principles stem from anyhow) and that live justly and with integrity---those folks are in AA. I too sometimes get frustrated by religion as a whole and I used to let it bother me. But I have seen the good things that faith does for individuals in recovery. I cannot judge or disrespect that. I aspire to have faith like that (albeit not in Jesus or Ala because those are not my beliefs)...I just want to have faith because it is a legitimate power and coping skill for dealing with life. I used to be the person to poopoo religion and be all intellectual and snipe at various religions...and for what? It never helped me to be so bitter. Religions also often have "missions" and typically millions of millions of dollars also go to literacy campaigns, feeding the homeless, helping promote peace... I might be averse to "Catholocism" but literally thank God for organizations like Catholic Charities and the Salavation Army because they do so much more good than anything.
I don't have the time or energy any more to judge large groups of people and their practices. We are all human and I prefer to be one of the lemmings rather than some disgruntled nay-sayer. That is my own personal peace. Thank God, Buddha, Satan or whatever the hell higher power you believe in.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
WE are reminded in our 2nd STEP (WE)Came to believe THAT a Power(not IN a power) greater than ourselves Could restore us to sanity..
Thanks for sharing from your heart folks, its HOW(Honesty,Open mindedness and Willingness) WE seek and offer suggestions through our own ESH.
WE are reminded its not WHAT or WHO this Power is but what it can do to help us in our recovery from addiction..Even if we don't believe in anything we do believe in the program(the reason we are here or working at it?) We believe we can be restored to sanity even in the most hopeless of times.If not,there are many ,many roads to recovery including modern medications if so wished but in AA we believe in total abstinence,working in the Solution(application of the STEPS in all areas of our lives) guided by a Higher Power,and worked with a sponsor.WE are not concerned with theological matters or doctrinal statements don't WE just want something that works?At least something as powerful as our addiction is(was)WE speak of Restoration..changing to the point where our addiction and its accompanying insanity are not controlling our lives.WE need no idea of how this Power greater than ourselves(we believe it is not us)is going to help us we just believe its possible..If we develop our sense of trust in the process of recovery and in that Power greater than ourselves, we can walk through painful times,based on the evidence in our own recoveries. This is a Process not an Event and we all are responsible for our own recoveries...Our spiritual principle of Humility comes from our knowing there is a Power greater than ourselves(if we believe that)Based on my own evidence of 25 years on the tiles,living in devastation I found it a tremendous struggle to stop relying on my own thinking and asking for HELP.For me my life is graced by a relationship with a Higher Power and not a religion per se and part of my daily recovery is working to be of maximum service to that Higher Power and others.For almost 3 decades I continue to do the daily work and I continue to find each day of LIFE(that is free of active addiction)More is continually revealed I too am FREE I struggle often but have learned to look into the exact nature of whats going on and seeking support starting with that Power greater than me..........Thanks for help this morning I remain truly humbled and grateful for another opportunity at LIFE, Just For Today, seeking to remain teachable and in the Solution.....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Religion is something that has plagued this world for a long time now.
The biggest problem that religion brings to us is the FEAR EFFECT. Fear is a very powerful emotion.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. Your damn right! Its called being fucking brainwashed!
And I'll bet you 6 days to bloody sunday that most of you Christians out their are just like how I used to be. Not forming a relationship with jesus because you want to go to heaven. But doing so because you don't want to go to hell.
GOD CANNOT KEEP ME SOBER. THE VERY THOUGHT OF GOD MAKES ME WISH I WAS DRUNK.
Kill God
No Afterlife
Hail Satan
Hi Robbie, ...
Religion plaguing our world ??? ... ... ... I agree ... of course you know 'religion' is 'man made' and was not something taught in God's Word ... You see, God never forced us to love Him, that is something that we have to learn ... what good would it be to force devotion and love? ... you have to want it ...
We were given freedom in our lives to choose ... good or evil ... from the beginning of time ... we are 'tempted' daily and we choose our own path ... the results of our choices bring us peace and happiness or pain and grief ... and when we have accumulated some wisdom, then we begin to do what's necessary to bring the desired results in the future ... on a personal level, religion has nothing to do with it, spirituality does ... and we have to be careful not to confuse spirituality with religion ... it is not the same ...
Religion being 'fear based' ??? ... I agree that most, if not all, are fear based ... again, this is born of man, not God ... and yes, it's a very powerful emotion ... enough so that it can make a person do indescribable things to harms others, even self ... much of this is brought about by allowing oneself to be deceived by others, by not seeking the 'truth' for ourselves, by allowing someone else to lead us by the hand into evil ways ...
'Train a child up in the way he should go' ??? ... The KEY here is "the way he SHOULD go" ... if you train a child in evil ways, then of course this child will live to carry on evil ways ... and the opposite is also true ... teach a child in the way which is righteous and when he is old he will live that way of life ...
I personally think that most Christians today are misguided ... they act on what they hear from some idiot rather than going to the source of the truth and reading it for themselves ... they open themselves up to being easily mislead ... and I think that most Christians will not be permitted into Heaven because of this ... I became an agnostic because I have seen 'so-called' Christians act and behave in a manner opposite of what the Holy Bible teaches ... and it turns out that many of the Christians lead churches are as corrupt as any government I've ever seen ... AA has taught me to seek the 'Truth' on my own and not rely on someone else's interpretation of the Good Book ...
God keeps me sober ... He does so through people just like you ... God shows Himself to me through my AA group members and through those who communicate through this board ... and for that, I am grateful ... (the hand of God visited me this morning thru the visit of a small bird, a Cardinal ... I see God everywhere, I just came to believe and there God was ... as I held this tiny bird in my hand I was awed at the miracles that are around me) ...
In God, all things are possible ... it is not up to me to understand His methods, nor try to 'explain' His ways ... I simply need to have Faith ... the size of a 'mustard seed' will do (very small) ...
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Ok yeah, I had a similar experience one time with, get this... a red tail hawk. Fed it chicken livers until it was old enough to fly away. ungrateful little bastard.
Whadda ya want, boy? This isn't a religious program. It's spiritual. You are yelling at the wrong people and org. Instead of yelling and ranting, how about you shut up for a little bit and listen?
All I see is "blah blah You are wrong here, you are wrong there, I've had a tough life here so you can GGF on that point. Blah de blah blah something to try to offend you blah blah blah look at me".
Your waffle has been amusing, but it's getting a bit boring.
AA is for people that want it, not necessarily for those that need it. You can fight this all as hard as you can if you want, but you won't get sober (not dry, mind) doing it, and you won't break those that WANT it.
Sit down and take the cotton wool out of those ears, and shove it in your mouth, and you might have a chance at a real life. Or don't and you won't.
Whadda ya want, boy? This isn't a religious program. It's spiritual. You are yelling at the wrong people and org. Instead of yelling and ranting, how about you shut up for a little bit and listen?
All I see is "blah blah You are wrong here, you are wrong there, I've had a tough life here so you can GGF on that point. Blah de blah blah something to try to offend you blah blah blah look at me".
Your waffle has been amusing, but it's getting a bit boring.
AA is for people that want it, not necessarily for those that need it. You can fight this all as hard as you can if you want, but you won't get sober (not dry, mind) doing it, and you won't break those that WANT it.
Sit down and take the cotton wool out of those ears, and shove it in your mouth, and you might have a chance at a real life. Or don't and you won't.
So...
Do you want it or need it?
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLHA BLAH YOURSELF FRODO. If you don't like what I write then don't read what I write because you will not like me. you hear me? DONT READ MY POSTS! You will not like me! I don't want you to. I don't care if anyone does. but its better than writing this shit down and throwing it away. I don't want you to look at me. you cant even SEE me! I write this shit, get reactions and It helps me think! maybe I am wrong about it, so I will tell you 3 distinct facts that I KNOW to be true
Whadda ya want, boy? This isn't a religious program. It's spiritual. You are yelling at the wrong people and org. Instead of yelling and ranting, how about you shut up for a little bit and listen?
All I see is "blah blah You are wrong here, you are wrong there, I've had a tough life here so you can GGF on that point. Blah de blah blah something to try to offend you blah blah blah look at me".
Your waffle has been amusing, but it's getting a bit boring.
AA is for people that want it, not necessarily for those that need it. You can fight this all as hard as you can if you want, but you won't get sober (not dry, mind) doing it, and you won't break those that WANT it.
Sit down and take the cotton wool out of those ears, and shove it in your mouth, and you might have a chance at a real life. Or don't and you won't.
So...
Do you want it or need it?
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLHA BLAH YOURSELF FRODO. If you don't like what I write then don't read what I write because you will not like me. you hear me? DONT READ MY POSTS! You will not like me! I don't want you to. I don't care if anyone does. but its better than writing this shit down and throwing it away. I don't want you to look at me. you cant even SEE me! I write this shit, get reactions and It helps me think! maybe I am wrong about it, so I will tell you 3 distinct facts that I KNOW to be true
1. My name is James Robert Morris
2. Im 31 years old
3. and I do NOT want you to like me.
I don't like you. I love you. You are me and I am you you. But I'm not going to kiss your arse as you jump up and down being as offensive as you can.
Nobody hunts up a forum like this unless they want help and support, so I assume that's what you want. If that's the case sit down and shut up. This place can save your life.
You can hate me all you want. Call me names. I don't care. I've been called many a name over my journey, and I'm flame proof, but I'm not walking away from you, and I won't sugar coat the world we both live in.
Maybe we'll never be friends, but if we keep each other sober then who gives a fuck about that?
I once read a story about an atheist AA member who was so passionate about Elvis (like, really obsessed) that she used her love for him as her HP and stayed sober. I think for a lot of us HP is not God in the biblical sense, but more so strength and meaning in acknowledging that carrying the burden of life and of our problems alone often results in the feelings that drive us to drink. Whatever floats your boat and keeps you sober, I suppose. -A
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
48, I learned to not trust many people from my chaotic upbringing. Still glad to see you poking around here Robbie.
Maybe you'll think enough and get the program.
I don't question and get all wrapped up in what I don't or do believe..and what others don't or do believe
To each their own.....
I very simply try to do the G>O>D thing..one day at a time without picking up a drink..
Good Orderly Direction.....seems to work.....for this kid....
Nothing wrong with keeping it simple.....I recommend it. That book is about finding a Power greater than ourselves...Follow the directions in it. Work the steps with a sponsor. That's the path. You follow it....Your chance of failure is RARE. Awesome job on 120 days...Keep trudging.
I once read a story about an atheist AA member who was so passionate about Elvis (like, really obsessed) that she used her love for him as her HP and stayed sober.
I think I saw her in a meeting....She was wearing blue suede shoes.
The A.A. program should never be confused with organized religion in whatever form it takes. It's more of a temperance movement than some religious ideal, thank God, and its main goal, of course, is to help others achieve what I call lasting sobriety, sans the religion. That will never change.
In regards to religion, well, A.A. doesn't support nor deny the existence of God, nor do I. Its main goal, again, is to help others recover from alcoholism, not choose their own maker. And I suggest others do likewise.
Some people may actually agree, though; that A.A. was somehow founded on the tenets of Christianity, but the facts say otherwise. The program itself is spiritually based not religiously biased. And they suggest you adopt a "God of your own understanding" and not someone else's. The whole idea behind the spirituality side of A.A. is to promote an atmosphere where physical heath, sober psychology and spiritual well being are readily accepted. That, my friend, is how the program works, if we 'continue' to work for it.
Now as far as spirituality goes, well, that is a whole other realm altogether. I think spirituality exists within each one of us, just like a seared conscience. And it seems to mature over a period of time, just like any faith. It may even be activated early on by a certain religious upbringing or in A.A. terms by some sort of sober revelation. But let it be known; Spirituality in some form will always exist.
The key difference between Spirituality and religion, I believe, is the way it's interpreted. Spirituality is usually chosen while religion has some forces behind it. It may be suitable for everyone, but not in an A.A. setting. A.A.s prime concern, other than achieving sobriety, is to promote a greater faith among us brethren not to deter it. And that's why A.A. is so universally sound. It promotes a better understanding of the human condition, thus completing the circle where faith exploration and spiritual bonding, along with unity, can make recovery possible. You're right about one thing, though: Nothing can ruin a person's perfectly good relationship with the God of their own understanding better than organized religion. That I will agree with. What about acceptance, though?
When it comes to spirituality, however, and acceptance of course, there are more avenues than there are roadblocks. Developing a more spiritual vibe is something that not only happens over time but also from within. It is our way of accepting and understanding the world in which we live in. It cannot be found in any church or by any belief system: It can only be found, again, from within. That I do know. So instead of removing yourself from God, the God of your own understanding, I suggest you do what comes natural: Give back a part of this program to the next deserving alcoholic. And before you know it; God, who we once considered anonymous, may just show up after all. I hope he brings a happy ending just for you.
Oh, by the way, I'm also a professing Catholic. Go figure. Onward.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Saturday 20th of July 2013 01:35:22 AM
There is one assurance for sobriety; for those who want it and that is the practice of our steps and traditions...religiously. Others include prayer. I am one of those because it has worked for me, a cultural Hawaiian. The program is much like my culture...doubly blessed I guess I could say. One of the very first principles of my culture I found in the program when I accepted it and decided to sit, stay, listen learn and practice was ALOHA....the generosity of spirit. Change the words around to read; the spirit of generosity and it still works for me. I am grateful to Akua, my HP's name for holding the door open for me. Once I let go of the spot light and got off of the stage and let the real people present the play I changed. Thanks for letting me share.
