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Post Info TOPIC: Thought for the day
justadrunk


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Thought for the day
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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Overspending and Underspending

I used to beat my husband to death with my credit card. It made me feel like I had some control, some way to get even with him.
  Anonymous

I spent ten years buying everything for myself at garage sales. I didn't even buy myself a new pair of shoes. The entire time I was depriving myself, my husband was gambling, speculating on risky business deals, and doing whatever he wanted with money. I learned that when I made a decision that I deserved to have the things I wanted, and made a decision to buy something I wanted, there was enough money to do it. It wasn't about being frugal; it was about depriving myself, and being a martyr.
  Anonymous

Compulsive buying or overspending may give us a temporary feeling of power or satisfaction, but like other out of control behaviors, it has predictable negative consequences.

Under spending can leave us feeling victimized too.

There is a difference between responsible spending and martyred deprivation. There is a difference between treating ourselves well financially and overspending. We can learn to discern that difference. We can develop responsible spending habits that reflect high self-esteem and love for ourselves.

Today, I will strive for balance in my spending habits. If I am overspending, I will stop and deal with what's going on inside me. If I am under spending or depriving myself, I will ask myself if that's necessary and what I want.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden



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Pythonpappy


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Thanks Sweetheart



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Q


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I think many alcoholics never learned to manage their money, or if they did, the illness erased all responsibility.

I made more money while I was drinking than I do now, but it didn't make a whit of difference. When I wasn't spending my money on alcohol, I had all sorts of entertainments I bought instead of paying bills. I was the epitome of the mindset, "I want what I want and I want it now." I was constantly hounded by bill collectors, wound up in court, ran up credit card debts, etc.

Getting sober went a long way to increasing my financial responsibility, but it didn't happen overnight. Just last year I slipped and spent a little too much money on a hobby, and found myself playing catch-up. But it wasn't disastrous, as it had been during my drinking days.

It's one more thing I have to turn over to God for guidance.

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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.  ---William James
Frodo


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I don't spend. I guess that because I'd pay the bills, buy the food, pay rent and then drink the rest, it meant that I never really had money for luxuries. Now that I don't have that drain I find that I don't have the habit or hunger for luxuries. So saving is really easy, which is odd because I never really had money to save so it's a bit disconcerting to have the extra cash each week, and I find I just want to see it add up rather than having any idea what I want to actually do with it.

I think we are broken when it comes to money. I know I am.



-- Edited by Frodo on Wednesday 10th of July 2013 08:33:12 AM

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Pythonpappy


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Q wrote:

I had a very cost-effective way of drinking. My favorite drink was whatever YOU were having. Gimme some of that!

 Okay, ... you asked for it ...

 



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 10th of July 2013 01:26:31 PM

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justadrunk


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I was raised by an accountant. I was taught to look at ounces per box before deciding which was the better deal. I did this with my alcohol too lol... always put no value on myself to start - and then whatever was the cheapest possible, and most for your money was the only choice at that point. It didn't matter if you liked something better - really wanted something else - or wanted to value your health. The same went for everything else of course. There was always a way to buy things in bulk - clothing from the farm store - whatever.

About 5 years ago we switched to eating organic food... or commonly known by your grandmother as 'Food'.... and there were no choices. It was a big leap to value myself, and I think it was the stepping stone in a small way to value myself enough to do this recovery thing.

Thanks for the shares everyone.

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Q


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I had a very cost-effective way of drinking. My favorite drink was whatever YOU were having. Gimme some of that!

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The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.  ---William James
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